His eyes were hooded. ‘I have been showing you affection continually for the past few weeks.’
‘That isn’t affection,’ she croaked, ‘that’s sex. It’s different. You keep yourself shut off. You don’t confide in me—you never have. You’ve never told me anything about who you really are. But today I saw that you were capable of opening up. I’m absolutely sure you’ll be a good father to the baby.’
He didn’t love her, that was true, but she knew now that he was going to love his child.
And she wasn’t going to deprive her child of that love.
He took her face in his hands, his eyes serious as they swept hers. Searching. ‘You’ll marry me?’
‘If that’s still what you want,’ she said softly. ‘Yes, I’ll marry you.’
He lowered his head to hers and kissed her. ‘Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?’
Ella closed her eyes, filled with happiness, sure that she was doing the right thing.
CHAPTER EIGHT
HER happiness lasted until they walked back into the house.
The moment the car pulled into the drive Ella felt dread building in the pit of her stomach.
‘You’re quiet.’ Nikos switched off the engine and glanced at her. ‘Tired?’
‘Yes,’ she lied, searching for a reason not to leave the car.
When she’d been in Greece, she’d felt as though she’d started to put her past and her fears behind her, but now she realised that it was all still there.
She glanced down at the diamond ring on her finger, hoping that it would give her courage, but the feeling of sickness intensified.
In Greece she’d felt optimistic and positive about the future.
Here, with the house frowning down on her, she realised that she’d been fooling herself—seeing things the way she wanted to see them, not the way they were.
Had he said ‘I love you’?
No.
But that wasn’t the biggest problem.
There was still so much she didn’t know about him—facets of his past that he refused to share. How had she managed to persuade herself that it didn’t matter?
How could she risk her future knowing that he was withholding such a large part of himself?
‘Do you want me to ring and say you can’t work this afternoon? It was stupid of us to say that we’d work a late shift.’
‘No. I want to work.’
Nikos frowned. ‘If you’re tired…’
‘I’m not tired.’ She didn’t know what she was saying and she saw the question in his eyes.
‘All right.’ His tone mild, Nikos reached across and un-fastened her seat belt. ‘Shower, change, lunch. Then, if you’re up to it, work.’
Ella sat rigid, unable to force her limbs to move.
‘No,’ she croaked, and he lifted an eyebrow.
‘No to what? No to work?’
‘No to marriage,’ she whispered, emotion rushing towards her like a tidal wave. ‘It’s—I can’t, Nikos. I’m sorry. I was wrong about everything. I thought we would be fine, but we won’t be—It can’t—Just forget it.’ Mumbling incoherently, she yanked the ring off her finger, thrust it into his lap and then opened the car door before he could stop her.
Legs shaking, heart pumping, she tore down the drive, away from the house.
She didn’t even know where she was going.
She just needed to get away.
‘Theos mou…’ Nikos was right behind her, his strong hands closing over her shoulders, stopping her flight and steadying her. ‘What is the matter with you?’
‘I can’t marry you.’ Her breath was coming in pants and she felt almost hysterical. ‘I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I was wrong.’
‘Ella—you’re not making sense.’ He gripped her arms tightly, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘We have just had a great week together, you chose to wear my ring. What has changed?’
‘Nothing. It’s not you. It’s me.’ She covered her face with her hands and he gave a rough curse and pulled her against him, rubbing her back gently with his hands.
‘You are very emotional and that’s normal for a pregnant woman. You will lie down in the house this afternoon and I will explain to Rose—’