Unbroken (The Protectors 12)

“I want you so bad, James, I hurt with it… what if that’s all I can feel? What if I don’t see you during—”

He kissed me. “Not possible, Aleks. Your mind is playing tricks on you.”

“But the blackouts—”

“Those were driven by you needing to protect yourself. I promise you, it won’t happen while you’re making love to me. Your focus is going to be on me and only me. And my focus is going to be on you… because that’s what making love is… finding pleasure in just being together.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry,” I said.

He chuckled. “What have I told you about being sorry?”

I laughed and managed to repeat the words he’d repeatedly said to me. “Don’t be…”

Vaughn kissed me until I was breathless. But instead of lying back on the bed, he reached for my hand, the one with the lubed fingers, and gently took it by the wrist. I watched in stunned silence as he got to his knees. It made him a bit taller than me, but for some reason that just turned me on.

Vaughn maneuvered my hand around his side, then over his backside. He guided my slick fingers between his cheeks. I raised myself up so I was as tall as I could be on my knees. I was still a bit shorter than him, but it didn’t matter because I just wanted to be as close to his mouth and his eyes as I could get.

“One finger at first,” Vaughn said as he nuzzled my neck.

I sucked in a breath and nodded, then waited until he let my hand go. I brushed his hole lightly to test what it felt like. Vaughn let out a rush of air, so I did it again. My groin tightened more when he began pumping his backside against my hand a moment later.

Seeking more.

God, he really did want this.

I moved my finger so that I could ease a little bit of the tip inside him. Vaughn stilled, which caused me to still. “Keep going, baby,” Vaughn said with a rush. “You’ll know when to stop.”

I took his word for it and began pushing farther into him. The pressure was intense and my brain was telling me to stop because I knew how badly this first part always hurt. It was the body’s way of trying to keep something out that didn’t belong. But instead of trying to escape my touch, Vaughn was pressing into it, urging my finger deeper inside of him. When something finally gave and the first half of my finger slipped into his body, Vaughn gasped and my instincts had me stopping.

So he could adjust.

Vaughn’s mouth was pressed against my neck, his hot breath coming in pants against my skin.

“More,” he finally breathed against me.

I wasn’t sure why I did it, but I actually pulled my finger out a little before pushing it farther into him. His muscles were so tight around me that my penis was bouncing against my abdomen in anticipation. I had no experience to base it on, but I just knew he’d feel amazing around me when the time came.

I just hoped I felt amazing to him.

“So good,” Vaughn growled in my ear as his right hand closed around the back of my head. He began kissing the shell of my ear.

“Fuck me with it, baby,” he said.

His use of the word “fuck” should have had me wanting to end this whole thing, but the word just didn’t mean the same thing.

Especially not how he’d said it.

And especially since I was the one doing the fucking.

I began pulling my finger out and pushing it back into him in what I hoped was a smooth, rhythmic glide. His body seemed to loosen a little around the digit and soon Vaughn was the one doing the fucking… of my finger.

“Add the other one,” Vaughn ordered.

I gladly followed the demand because I could hear the need in Vaughn’s voice.

And he was right.

I was totally focused on his pleasure.

I took my time pushing my second finger into him. Like the first one, there was a point where I could tell he needed me to stop, then move slowly before speeding up. I was so in tune with his needs that it was both frightening and freeing at the same time.

Within a couple of minutes, I was pumping my fingers into him without any kind of finesse.

“Aleks, can I touch you?”

I knew what kind of touching he meant.

…that’s what making love is… finding pleasure in just being together.

He was right. I was getting just as much pleasure out of touching him like this as when I’d been grinding my penis against his belly all these past nights. Why wouldn’t it be the same for him? That touching me was about him both giving and receiving pleasure?

“Yes,” I whispered harshly, because I wanted to make sure there was no question about my answer.