"Nikolai, let's go, now!" he said.
I whipped around to look at him and automatically dropped my eyes to his throat. I flexed my bloody knuckles into a fist and turned back around, but then Jude was putting himself between me and my target. His hand came up to grab my cheek. "Nikolai, look at me," he said desperately.
His request wasn't enough to stop my forward movement. But when he softly said, "Nikolai, please,” the words had me stopping in my tracks. I had no clue how I’d even managed to hear them in the loud club, but I did. I was that in tune with him.
Jude’s thumb swept over my cheek. “Take me home, Nikolai," he said slowly, clearly. "Please," he added.
His words and the way he was cradling my cheek were enough to dowse the flames of vengeance. I managed a nod but instead of taking him by the arm and leading him from the building, I did something that was way out of bounds.
I grabbed his hand and linked my fingers with his. It was too intimate, too personal, too… much.
But nothing and no one could have made me drop his hand in that moment. I told myself it was just so I could get him out of there, but I knew better. I wasn’t doing it for him.
It was all for me.
I forced myself not to dwell on my behavior and instead put my mind on navigating Jude through the crowd. The majority of people in our path moved out of the way but for those who didn't, I snarled “move" at them and used my free hand to push any stragglers aside. My only goal was to get Jude out of the building. I should've been thinking ten steps ahead of that, but I wasn't. Aside from my beeline to the door, all I could think about was the biker’s meaty hand wrapped around Jude's slim throat and the fear in Jude’s eyes when he’d realized he was trapped.
I had enough sense to call for the SUV to make sure it was waiting out front. The driver had the back door open as we moved out of the club and onto the street. I scanned our surroundings as I tugged Jude until he was ahead of me and maneuvered him into the vehicle. We were plunged into darkness when the driver shut the door. It wasn't until the vehicle began to move that I realized not only was I sitting on the same bench seat as Jude, I was somehow still holding his hand.
We were both breathing hard and it was all I could do not to pull Jude closer. I was shaky and on edge. And since I couldn't take my frustrations out with my hands, I wanted to do it with another part of my body. I wanted to claim ownership of Jude so he would never end up in a situation like that again. I wanted him to know that he was mine so he wouldn't even look at another guy, let alone allow one to put his hands on him.
"Nikolai," Jude whispered.
I couldn't.
I just couldn't.
I was too afraid of what I would do if he said even one more word to me. "Don't," was all I said in response, my voice coming out like little shards of ice. Then, as much as it pained me, I did what I should've done before we’d even gotten into the car.
I released his hand.
I wanted to believe I heard Jude let out the softest of whimpers, but I knew it was just my hungry brain trying to pull one over on me.
I still had my hand on the bench seat between us. The last thing I expected Jude to do was to rub the pinky of his right hand against my left one. I let out a harsh breath at the simple contact that spoke volumes. I knew then that if I wanted him, I could have him. He wouldn't deny me.
And that was exactly the problem.
I yanked my hand away and fisted it on my lap so I wouldn't reach for him. But even that wasn't enough, so I growled, “Don't," again and then moved to the opposite seat.
He’s a job. He's just a job, I reminded myself. I kept chanting that thought over and over in my head as the SUV wound its way through the congested streets. But no matter how many times I repeated it to myself, by the time we reached Jude's building, I still didn't believe it.
Chapter 10
Jude
He was pissed.
There was no doubt about that. I just wasn't sure if he was pissed at me or the situation. It was probably a little bit of both, considering how he'd yanked his hand away from mine when I’d foolishly reestablished our physical contact. I wasn't even sure what I'd been thinking in that moment. I'd just felt so empty and alone after he'd pulled his hand from mine.