Then something changed.
It happened so fast I couldn't even be sure I'd seen it. One moment, there was only noise and hot bodies writhing around us and the next it was just me and Jude. He looked at me and I saw the nothingness; I felt it.
His eyes were blank, almost dead. His body was still moving, but he wasn't there. It was only when his eyes held mine for a split second that I finally saw that spark. That piece of Jude I’d been searching for all day.
My Jude.
I didn't care if I was imagining it or not. In that moment I knew that everything about the situation was wrong.
Completely and undeniably wrong.
I pulled my hand free of Angel’s and stepped forward, my eyes never leaving Jude's. The closer I got, the brighter that light in his eyes got until they were dancing with fire.
Need—pure unadulterated need knifed through me as I put one foot in front of the other. It seemed to take eons to get to Jude, but he never once stopped looking at me. I ignored the two men surrounding him. When I reached the trio, I put my hand out and Jude instantly took it. Excitement and relief poured through my system when his fingers linked with mine. I glanced in the direction of the door, but it was too far away and there were too many bodies between it and us.
And my need was too great.
I pulled Jude forward, freeing him from the grips of the two men. I dimly registered them yelling something aimed in my direction, but one hard look at them and they fell silent.
Let them try to take him from me.
I almost welcomed the idea of taking out some of the tightness in my body on them.
Jude didn't hesitate to follow me in the least as I led him to the back of the club and toward the bathroom. I wasn't exactly proud of what I was about to do, or rather where I was going to do it, but I was walking a razor’s edge. I was wound too tight and if I didn't get some relief by taking what I needed from Jude, I’d do something worse and take it out on the people around us, especially the ones who’d dared put their hands on what was mine.
The bathroom was crowded with guys in various stages of sex, but I ignored them all and headed for one of the empty stalls. Heads turned as I kicked the door open and then pulled Jude into the stall. I didn't care what anyone thought or that what was about to happen would technically be in the presence of others. All I cared about was getting Jude to myself. I slammed the door shut as I pressed Jude back against the wall and flipped the lock. I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the wall and then bent down and whispered, "Is this what you need?"
Our lips were inches apart. Jude’s breaths were coming in heavy pants. "To get fucked by someone in a piece of shit club?”
"No," he said softly with a shake of his head. "I need you, Nikolai. I just need you."
He barely got the last syllable of his admission out before I closed the distance between our mouths and took ownership of his. Jude let out the softest of whimpers when I opened my mouth over his. He tasted like a dream. The softest, sweetest of dreams.
I’d meant for the kiss to be slow and savoring, but as soon as his tongue touched mine, it didn't matter what I wanted.
It only mattered what I needed, and what I needed was Jude.
Chapter 14
Jude
He didn't just kiss me.
He consumed me.
He claimed me.
He destroyed me.
In the best way possible.
The world around me fell away as Nikolai's mouth moved over mine. I still couldn’t make sense of how it had happened, how I’d ended up in this place with him.
From the moment I’d left Nikolai's apartment the night before, I'd been nothing more than a walking disaster. I hadn't been able to sleep so I’d tried doing some work from home. There’d been no hope of focusing enough to do that, so I'd attempted some of the other tricks that usually helped my brain snap out of its unique brand of crazy. But yoga and meditation had done nothing either and I’d ended up spending hours walking the length of my apartment trying to convince myself that I didn't care that Nikolai only saw me as a job. But by the time the sun had broken over the horizon, that little voice in my head had continued to make itself known.
He doesn't want you, Jude.
I'd been glad to see that Nikolai wasn't the one waiting outside my door when I’d left for work. It had been easier to try to get my mind back on track. But, of course, the distance hadn't given me the break I’d craved. I’d still been just as strung out by the time we’d reached my office building. Certain that work would be the thing that would get me back on track, I’d eagerly sat down at my desk after Andy had swept the office before leaving me alone. But the letters on the computer screen had been nothing but a jumbled mess and no amount of concentration had changed that. All it had done was make my head hurt.