He pointed at the green car.
"This one and the yellow one should be switched," he said.
"Jude," I began, but before I could even say anything else, Jude jumped to his feet.
"Never mind!" he snapped. He yanked the door open and went to sweep his hand across the cars, intending to dump them back into the drawer, but I grabbed him from behind. I had one arm wrapped around his body so he couldn't move his own arms.
"Jude—"
“No! I knew you'd look at me like that!"
He struggled hard to escape my hold.
"Like what?" I asked as I forced him to turn around and gripped his upper arms. "How do you think I'm looking at you?" I asked, my own temper rising. I reminded myself that Jude was overly tired and on guard from having his private space invaded by first an intruder and now me.
"Like I’m crazy! I know that, okay?! I know I’m fucking crazy, Nikolai! But I also know someone moved those cars!”
"I believe you!" I yelled right back at him so that he would hear me.
Jude stopped struggling against me. "What?”
"I believe you, Jude," I said more softly. "And I don't think you're crazy."
Jude was clearly speechless as he stared at me. After a moment, he nodded and then settled completely. I was reluctant to release my hold on him, but there was no legitimate reason to keep up the physical contact. I looked back at the cars and asked, "Does anyone know about the cars? Do they know what order you keep them in?"
Jude shook his head. "I've never told anyone about them. I don't… I don’t bring people here.”
"What about Hayes?" I asked before I could stop myself. Since I knew Hayes wasn't out to hurt his own lover, there’d been no reason to ask the question. I'd done it for purely selfish reasons.
Jude let out a soft sigh and looked at me like I’d somehow disappointed him. His words had a little bit more coldness to them as he said, “No, Cliff doesn't come here."
I nodded. "You're absolutely certain you put them in the right order the last time you handled them?”
Jude nodded. "Yes. I… I have to put them in a certain order," he explained. I wanted to know why, but it was irrelevant.
"Okay," I said as I pulled him a few steps away from the cars. I searched out my phone and called 911 to report the break-in.
"No," Jude cried out softly as soon as he heard the 911 operator answer. "No," he croaked again as I gave the operator his address and explained about the potential break-in.
As I spoke to the operator, Jude suddenly began moving around the room. He started tearing the Post-its off all the surfaces. As soon as I hung up with the operator, I went after him. He had moved into his bathroom and was tearing notes off his mirror. I grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around to face me.
"Why?” he cried out before trying to turn around again. "Let me go, I have to take them all down!"
"Jude," I said firmly as I pulled him back against my chest so his back was lined up with my front. "You can't touch anything. The police will need to dust for prints."
Jude’s reflection in the mirror spoke of his horror. His mouth opened wide and he began shaking his head violently. "No! No, call them back and tell them not to come. Tell them you made a mistake!”
"Jude—"
"Call them back!" he demanded. "I can't… they can't…"
I knew why he was upset, but I also knew that I couldn't give him what he wanted.
I dropped my mouth to his ear and softly said, "Jude, they're not going to judge you. They don't care about your notes. Their only goal will be to find evidence of whoever broke in."
Jude began shaking his head again. I brushed a kiss just behind his ear. “They won't judge you, sweetheart.”
Jude pulled away from me, the sticky notes he’d managed to grab clutched between his fingers. He left the bathroom. I followed him to the living room and watched him sit down on the couch. I sent Andy a quick text letting him know that the police would be arriving shortly and then went to sit next to Jude. He kept flexing his fingers around the Post-it notes, so I eased them from his hand and then inserted mine in their place. I was glad when he wrapped his fingers around mine.
"Jude, it will be all right, I promise.”
But he didn't respond. He merely shook his head and clung to my hand. And the harder he held on to me, the more uneasy I became.
What if I’d just done the unthinkable and made Jude yet another promise? Another one that I had no sure way of keeping?