Watch Me

"The Walmart was in Broken Bluff, Kansas. It was a small town, the kind where everybody knew everybody. Nobody had ever heard of me and they didn't recognize the woman when the cops went to canvass the surrounding neighborhoods. They figured that the woman wasn't from the area. The store was only a few miles from the interstate, so she could’ve been from anywhere. And since I couldn't tell them anything, not even what her name was or what my last name was, they had no chance of finding her. They ran my picture on the local news, but no one came forward to say they recognized me."

I didn't know what to say to him. ‘I'm sorry’ would do nothing for him, so I remained quiet. I did shift my body slightly to be closer to Jude. I wanted him to feel me there next to him so he knew he wasn't alone.

"The story had a silver lining," Jude continued. "Lots of people expressed interest in adopting me. Children’s services ended up putting me into a foster home while they went through all the potential applicants who’d asked to adopt me. When I got to the foster home, the foster mom, Mrs. Klein, gave me this car."

Jude took out the black car and set it on the nightstand. “I don't remember much about Mrs. Klein except that she was a good cook and she would bake lots of cookies and stuff for me and the other foster kids she took care of. At the time, I wasn't sure how long I’d been with her, but I do remember the day children’s services came to get me. Mrs. Klein was crying as she kept saying she was sorry. I didn't know what she was sorry for. She told me I could keep the car. I remember asking the lady who came and got me if they found me a family and that was why I had to leave Mrs. Klein’s house. They hadn't, but she promised me they would.”

Jude carefully set the black car on the nightstand. “The next family was the O’Briens. They weren’t as nice as Mrs. Klein. I got into trouble a lot."

"Jude, did they hurt you?" I asked because I had to know. Rage simmered in my blood at the thought of anyone laying their hands on Jude.

To my surprise, it was Jude who reached out to do the comforting. His fingers closed around my hand as he said, "No. They didn't hurt me. None of the people who took me in ever laid a hand on me. I swear, Nikolai."

I let out a breath and intertwined my fingers with his. I’d been getting better at reading Jude, but I hadn't ever considered that he’d been doing the same to me.

"What happened with the O’Briens?" I asked.

“I was really scared that if I didn't behave myself, they’d tell my new family how bad I was.” Jude paused for a painful moment before whispering, “I tried, Nikolai. I really did."

"I know you did, sweetheart," I said. I lifted his hand to my lips and pressed a soft kiss against it before lowering our joined hands again.

“Mrs. O'Brien worked a lot, so it was usually just me and Mr. O'Brien. He was a lot older than his wife. He had a lot of health problems and was in a wheelchair, so he spent most of the time watching television. I liked watching with him. TV was always something that could hold my interest for longer periods of time. But as much as I liked it, I couldn’t sit perfectly still no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t want to pick at the tears in the fabric of the couch and I didn’t want to bang my leg against the couch. I told Mr. O'Brien I was sorry but no matter how many chances he gave me, I just couldn't behave. It was like the way it was with Mrs. Klein. One day my social worker just showed up to collect me. Mr. O'Brien gave me the General Lee," Jude said as he used one hand to pull the orange car out of the bag. He set it down next to the other two cars.

“I was sad I couldn't stay with the O'Briens any longer, but my social worker told me they'd found a family for me. I met the Johnsons at the group home where a lot of the kids stayed if they didn't have enough foster homes available. I liked the Johnsons a lot and they seemed to like me. The mom hugged me a lot and told me all about my new room and that they had a dog and that we were going to be a family. I was so excited. They gave me this." Jude took out the fourth car.