His response was a wail of relief as his body bowed in my arms. His fingers dug into my skin and his legs locked around my waist as he thrust up into my hand. Hot liquid began spewing between us as he came. Sebastian dropped his head back against the wall as he rode out what had to be a nearly painful orgasm. I continued to jerk him off, milking every jet of semen that shot from his body until he finally sagged in relief. I released his cock so I could catch his weight with both hands, then I was sliding us both to the floor because my own trembling knees were threatening to buckle. Sebastian ended up like a wet noodle beneath me. I kissed him softly all over his face and neck as he remained in his blissed-out state. He had one hand splayed out above his head, but the other was running through my hair again.
Several minutes passed in silence before Sebastian moved, but only so he could snuggle closer to me. I moved off him and tucked him up against my side. His hand settled on my chest. He started toying with my chest hair.
“What about you? You didn’t…” he said wearily, then started to move his hand down my body. It was true that I was still hard as a rock, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing about what had just happened between us. It’d been one of the most moving experiences of my life and I hadn’t even found my release. If I did ever have the chance to fully make love to Sebastian, I’d probably die from the pleasure.
I grabbed Sebastian’s hand and pulled it up to my mouth. I pressed a kiss against his palm. “I’m perfect,” I whispered before looking at him. “Absolutely perfect.” I leaned in to kiss him but kept the caress soft.
“Will you stay for a little while?” Sebastian asked carefully, tiredly.
No doubt his insecurity was another one of the remnants of Rick’s treatment. The asshole had probably used Sebastian and left right afterwards to go home to his husband.
“Not going anywhere,” I said.
I was sure Sebastian had dozed off a few minutes later but then he suddenly said, “He told me he didn’t want kids.”
I knew who “he” was.
“I always wanted a big family because it’d just been me and my mom growing up. She used to jump from guy to guy and didn’t care that they were just using her. I swore I’d never be like her. Rick was… he was actually my first boyfriend… my first everything, really. I told him I wanted to have kids someday, but he said he didn’t… that he wanted it to be just me and him. I was…”
Sebastian fell silent for a moment, but I didn’t encourage him one way or the other. The moment felt like another defining one between us, and I didn’t want to mess it up.
“I was willing to give all that up for him because I was so desperate not to be alone. I guess I ended up being just like my mom anyway.”
“I don’t believe that, Bastian,” I murmured as I ran my fingers up and down his arm. “You don’t strike me as the type of person to give up your dreams. Maybe you were hoping if you stuck it out a little longer, he’d change his mind, but I don’t believe for a second that you would have given up the life you wanted for him.”
He didn’t respond, but I took it as a good sign when he continued to tap his fingers against my chest.
“I’m really tired, Devon.”
I suspected he was talking about more than just being physically exhausted.
“I know you are, baby. Go to sleep.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
I tipped my head down enough so I could kiss his temple. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” I waited a moment, then added, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sebastian.”
“Mmm,” he responded drowsily as he rubbed his cheek over my chest like he was trying to get more comfortable. “Mmmappy V’tine’s, Dev,” he managed to say before he was out like a light.
Chapter 6
Sebastian
He was gone the next morning.
I knew that the second I woke up. Yeah, my head felt like it was going to explode, I wanted to puke, and my mouth may as well have been stuffed full of cotton, but all those things were secondary to the loss I felt when I woke up and didn’t feel Devon’s comforting presence at my back.
Unfortunately, I was one of those drunks who didn’t have the luxury of forgetting their idiotic behavior. And while the stuff I’d said at the fundraising event had been pretty damn bad all on its own, it was all the stuff I’d said and done to Devon that would come back to haunt me.