And all the things he’d said and done to me.
What probably stung the most was that I’d screwed up something so badly with a man I felt more for in five minutes than I had after two years with Rick. Admittedly, it’d hurt the night before when Rick had announced he and Darren were pregnant via surrogate, but it hadn’t really been about that. I’d had time to consider that Rick was willing to have kids with someone besides me when I’d first encountered Darren in that department store. He’d been buying Rick a present so he could surprise him with the news that they’d found a surrogate to carry their child. I’d had time to accept that Rick wasn’t a good person and that I’d been lucky to get out of the relationship, but even all this time later, I was still reeling from how easily I’d given up on the things I wanted just so I wouldn’t be by myself anymore.
Seeing Rick had brought back a lot of those emotions, but then life had decided to throw Devon into the mix and everything had been amplified by a thousand. I’d felt like a fool for ever giving so much of myself to an asshole like Rick when there were fantastic men out there like Devon. I’d known from the moment he’d come into my yard to get his dog that he was one of the good ones. I’d never had that same feeling about Rick.
But then everything had gone to shit when he’d kissed me in front of Rick and Darren. I thought he’d done it because he felt sorry for me, but then why had he done what he had last night when he’d gotten me home? I’d practically begged him to fuck me, but he hadn’t. But he also hadn’t just left me there like that, either.
He’d made what should have been a meaningless encounter – like the hundreds I’d had with Rick over the years – into something Rick never had.
All about me.
And when it’d been over, he hadn’t just gotten himself off (or let me do it) and walked out. No, he’d stayed. And based on the fact that I was now lying naked in bed, at some point he’d moved me to the soft mattress. I just wasn’t sure if he’d stayed any longer or not.
I glanced around the room on the off chance his clothes were strewn across a chair or something, but they weren’t. I bit back my disappointment and flipped over, intent on smelling the pillow on the other side of the bed to see if his scent was there. The second I did, I got a face full of wet, smelly tongue.
“Oh my God,” I muttered. There was a light thumping on the bed, then my face was being doused in more wet kisses that smelled of kibble.
My heart soared as Devon’s dog plastered himself across my upper body and covered me in doggie kisses.
“Kirby,” I whispered happily.
“Hey, what did I tell you about not trying to steal my man,” I heard Devon say. Kirby disappeared and I looked up just in time to see the little dog bound to the end of the bed and wag his tail happily at Devon, who was standing in the bedroom doorway. He was covered in sweat and dirt.
“You’re here,” I said stupidly as I sat upright, not caring that I wore nothing beneath the blanket.
“Of course I am,” Devon said. “I told you I would be.”
He moved into the room and stopped next to the bed. “I didn’t trust myself to keep my hands off you this morning, so I got up to work on your garden. But I left you in capable hands… er, um, paws.”
Devon patted Kirby as the dog bounced between him and me.
“You’re here,” I repeated dumbly because my muddled brain and joyous heart were having trouble meeting in the middle.
“I’m here,” Devon replied softly, like he knew what I was going through. He leaned down and kissed me softly. “Morning, baby. Or afternoon, rather.”
I tried to deepen the kiss, but Devon pulled back. He held out his hands. “Let me get washed up. Then we can talk. Do you mind if I use your shower?”
He was still here.
I managed a nod, but nothing more.
Devon stared at me for another beat, kissed me again, then disappeared into my bathroom. Kirby jumped into my lap. I squeezed him as reality began to set in.
Devon had stayed.
He’d kept his word.
But what exactly did it mean? Had he just been worried about me because I’d had too much to drink? He’d said he wanted to talk. About what? Was he going to let me down gently? Tell me last night had been a mistake? That he was really straight and he’d just felt sorry for me or something?