Shattered (The Protectors 11)

Because Caleb had something on him.

“Well, you guys take it easy, you hear?”

“Yeah,” I said. “You too.”

I’d been fortunate enough to walk away from the military with only a giant chip on my shoulder, considering all the bullshit I’d seen and been forced to do during my four deployments. Dalton hadn’t been as lucky. In addition to having sustained injuries in a roadside bombing that had not only left him scarred but in constant pain, he’d also walked away with a hefty case of PTSD. It was one of the reasons he’d holed himself up in his little house by the water and had spent a good chunk of his savings on the cabin cruiser that he spent most of his days on. I felt guilty for asking him to let me borrow the boat for so long, considering it was one of the few things that brought him any measure of comfort as he fought the demons war had left behind, but he’d assured me he could use the time to work on his house.

And the reality was, I’d been desperate.

I spent a few minutes checking that everything was locked down for the night. I’d picked a quiet place near a small, uninhabited island for us to moor overnight. My plan was to play it by ear in terms of how far down the Chesapeake we traveled. I wouldn’t make the decision to leave the bay for the open ocean until I absolutely had to. In truth, I was floundering a bit, both with my plan and with my charge. I’d gotten used to working alone, so being without Ronan’s team to back me up wasn’t a new thing, but the stakes were higher than they’d ever been. If I’d just been protecting some average joe, I wouldn’t have felt so off-balance.

But there was nothing average about any of this.

God, he’d cut himself again.

Under my own goddamned nose.

Even now as I thought about the three almost perfectly uniform cuts, I wanted to throw up. On the one hand, I just wanted to shake Caleb and tell him to wake the fuck up from the zombie-like state he was in and just come back to me. But the other part of me knew I had this one chance to make things right and if I pushed too hard, I’d just drive him further away. I had a little bit of hope that the old Caleb wasn’t completely gone yet, because I’d seen glimpses of him when he’d taken care of the cuts on my face. His touch had been gentle, but his reaction to the close proximity of our bodies had been anything but. I’d heard his ticked-up breathing as he’d practically been pressed nose to nose with me. I’d felt his warm breath coming in quick bursts against my skin and I’d seen the slight tremor in his hand as he’d tended to my injuries.

It would have been so easy to turn my head at any time and just capture his mouth with mine.

But the same things that had held me back from taking what I’d wanted two years ago were the same things keeping me from storming into the bedroom below deck and covering his body with mine as I sought out his perfect mouth.

He was still just so damn young.

And the vulnerability was a thousand times greater than it’d been when I’d first met him.

But worst of all, I’d joined the list of those who’d betrayed him.

I had no illusions about what would have happened today if we hadn’t come under attack. Caleb had said as much right before the first shot had been fired.

He’d had no intention of going home with Mav… or coming anywhere with me. And at nineteen, there’d have been no way to force him except to actually force him.

Which I absolutely would have done, Mav and Memphis be damned. So if there was a silver lining to the events of the morning, it was that Caleb was once again reliant on me. But unlike the last time that had happened, I wasn’t going to squander the opportunity.

As I made my way below deck, I stopped in the kitchen and checked the microwave to see if Caleb had eaten the plate of food I’d left for him. I’d kept things simple with dinner by just heating up the leftover lasagna Dalton had included for us when he’d stocked the fridge. I wasn’t surprised to see the food was sitting untouched. I sighed and found some plastic wrap to cover the food with, then put it back in the fridge. I searched out the small containers of milk I knew would be in the fridge and took two into the bedroom. I flipped on the small light right above the bed and then sat down on the edge of it.