Discovering Daisy (The Protectors 5.60)

I nodded and carefully recounted the events of the past few days. Ronan asked me a lot of questions, but I didn’t have a lot of answers. He patted my knee and then went to talk to Memphis and Cash in a low voice. Sage stayed with me. His arm was around my shoulders and his fingers were stroking mine. It made me feel warm and safe. I noticed that Cash kept glancing our way from where he stood near the door talking to Ronan and Memphis, and it occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t be clinging to his boyfriend like I was. But when I tried to put some space between me and Sage, Sage refused to release me and Cash actually frowned slightly. His hard eyes held mine and I felt a million things go through me all at once.

I was instantly transported back to that night. I didn’t understand the need to please him, but it was there all the same. I remembered how he’d talked to Sage, how he’d ordered him to do things and spoken to him in that commanding voice and how Sage had seemed to feed off of it. Had Sage been feeling that little spark inside when Cash had spoken to him like that?

The same spark I was feeling now as Cash’s eyes softened as soon as I leaned back into Sage’s side?

God, it made no sense.

But I was too tired to try and make sense of anything anymore.

I let my eyes drift shut. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before Sage gave me a gentle squeeze. “Daisy, honey,” he said softly. I opened my eyes and saw that Ronan was once again sitting in the chair across from me.

“Daisy, I’d like you to come back to Seattle with me and Memphis. You can stay with me and Seth until we figure out what to do next. Until this Lee guy and Dylan are found, I don’t want you staying alone in your apartment.”

“I can’t go back there,” I interjected as even the thought of stepping back into what had once been my sanctuary terrified me to the bone.

“You don’t have to,” Ronan quickly assured me. “As soon as the police release the apartment when they’re done with their investigation, I’ll have someone pack all your personal belongings and have them brought to Seattle. When you’re ready, we can get you set up with an apartment or house out there. But Seth and I have plenty of room, so you can stay with us as long as you want.”

I should have been able to say yes without any kind of hesitation. I trusted Ronan implicitly and while being around him and his family would take some getting used to, I knew I’d feel safe.

But something had me holding my tongue.

And I knew what it was.

An uncomfortable sensation unfurled in my belly as my eyes automatically shifted to Cash. He was standing apart from the others, arms still crossed. He looked dark and forbidding.

Dangerous.

But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I couldn’t make myself look at my boss and thank him for his generous offer and tell him it wasn’t enough.

That it wasn’t what I truly wanted.

I didn’t know what I wanted, but something deep inside of me had me holding Cash’s gaze, willing him to see what I was afraid to admit to. The knot in my stomach tightened painfully and my chest felt like there was a lead weight on it as I stared at Cash. I could feel the tears pricking the backs of my eyes as the pain inside of me grew.

When he didn’t say anything, I felt something inside of me break. I somehow managed to quell the feeling as I dropped my eyes. “Ronan, thank you, I—”

“She’s going to stay with me and Sage in Arkansas,” Cash cut in before I could accept Ronan’s offer.

I barely stifled my cry of relief. Sage’s hand tightened on mine and I wondered if he’d understood what I was going through.

I needed to be with them. I knew it in my heart, but I didn’t know why. It made no sense because I knew Ronan better. Things with Ronan would be safe and easy.

But from the second Ronan had made his offer, it’d felt wrong.

No, not wrong, just not… enough.

Tension filled the room and I forced my gaze up to see both Ronan and Memphis looking at Cash in surprise. I could tell neither man was particularly happy about Cash’s announcement.

“Daisy,” Ronan said carefully. “Is that what you want?”

I nodded, but realized it wasn’t enough. I held Ronan’s eyes as I said, “It is.”

I willed Ronan not to ask me why, because I couldn’t explain it. The pain inside of me dissipated and was replaced with a bout of nerves so strong that I could barely sit still.