But I knew the footsteps wouldn’t stop.
It was our turn.
We’d already been prepared. That only ever happened when it was our turn.
Mouse turned over and pressed against me. I released her mouth and held on tight.
“Please, Sage!” she cried. “Please do this for me!”
“No,” I hissed.
She began screaming and I quickly covered her mouth again.
“They’ll punish you!” I snapped at her. “Is that what you want?”
She didn’t stop screaming. Every muffled cry against my palm cut into me like a knife. I bled and bled, but there was no relief. Not while her frantic eyes held mine, her plea louder than any scream she could have made.
And I knew in that moment that I couldn’t save her. I’d been making her that promise for months, even a year, maybe… I didn’t really know, since I’d lost all sense of time. I was as powerless now as I’d been the first time I’d been forced to kneel next to her on the steps leading up to the small alter.
“I can’t stop it,” I whispered to her as something inside of me ripped wide open.
She stopped struggling beneath my palm, but I didn’t move my hand and she didn’t try to make me. She looked at me with something akin to relief and just like that, the tears stopped. The footsteps stopped outside our door and the familiar chanting began.
“Mouse,” I whispered as I shook my head.
She nodded and I felt her say something against my palm.
I love you, Sage.
I didn’t try to stop the tears as I leaned down to whisper that I loved her too. Then I told her I was sorry.
And I shifted my hand to cover her nose in addition to her mouth.
I wanted her to close her eyes, but she wouldn’t, so neither did I. She tried not to fight me, but her body’s instincts to survive kicked in and she grabbed hold of my wrist as her body began to thrash as it realized there was no more oxygen coming its way.
It was then that I realized why she’d kept her eyes open. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have seen it.
The resolve.
The silent plea for me to keep going.
The hovering right there on the edge of fear and peace.
I sobbed as I threw a leg over her lower body and held her down. Every second that passed was pure agony, but only because I’d made my own choice to follow her and I wanted to be right behind her when she went.
Her eyes didn’t close when she finally stopped struggling, so it was hard to be sure she was gone. It wasn’t until her hands slipped from where she’d been holding onto my wrist and a single tear slid down her cheek that I knew it was done.
I’d saved her.
I’d saved us both.
I turned over on the bed and reached beneath it to search out the piece of the metal I’d been working free of the mattress frame for weeks. I’d finally gotten it loose this morning. My intent had been to use it as a weapon during the grand escape plan I’d come up with – the one that never would have worked – but it would serve another purpose now.
I turned on my back and without any kind of hesitation, pressed the tip of the metal against the skin along the inside of my forearm. The relief masked the pain as blood welled around my makeshift blade, and I closed my eyes and pressed up against Mouse, ready to follow her over to the other side.
Chapter 7
Cash
I managed to keep up a conversation with Daisy, but my gut was rolling with tension as I kept glancing over my shoulder at Sage.
I couldn’t help but think I’d royally fucked up by letting Daisy come stay with us. But when she’d looked at me in that hotel room, I’d known it was what she needed. I’d seen it in Sage’s eyes too, as he’d been pressed up against her side. Selfishly, I’d wanted it too. I’d wanted a chance to explore this thing between the three of us, so I’d put aside the complications it could potentially cause and I’d seized on Daisy’s unspoken request.
Never in a million years would I have thought she’d choose me and Sage over Ronan.
But she had, and I wanted to believe there was a reason for it.
Yes, it could’ve just been her reacting to the moment – Sage and I had been her saviors, after all. But Ronan wasn’t just any guy. He’d saved Daisy’s life first, he’d given her a new purpose… he watched out for her and treated her like a daughter or younger sister. If there was anyone in this world she would have felt completely safe with, it was Ronan Grisham.
Yet, she’d chosen us.
And she’d done it in a way that had spoken to all of my darkest needs.