First Time For Everything

With effort, Blake dropped his gaze past the lovely, enticing curves of her breasts to the permanent marks covering her belly, rubbing the ridge of flesh beneath his finger. The moment stretched, a seagull calling overhead, and Jax shifted, as if growing uncomfortable.

She nodded at the scar he traced, the shape resembling the number sign on a computer keyboard. “You can play tic-tac-toe on that one,” she said casually, as if to lighten the moment.

“When did you make it?”

“On my fourteenth birthday,” she said, and his heart contracted so hard it physically hurt.

So young.

And it didn’t take much to realize how lonely that birthday must have been for her.

He reached out to grip her hip. “Jesus, Jax—”

“It’s okay,” she said, covering his hand with hers as if he were the one that needed comforting.

Five seconds passed as she returned his gaze, her eyes remarkably calm.

“The week before was the first time I ever cut myself, and I made the marks on my arm. Which was a huge mistake,” she said, as if sensing his need to know more. “The school noticed the wounds and notified my foster parents. And the next thing I knew they were freaking out and wanted me gone.” She inhaled slowly, the moment filled with the sound of the sail fluttering in a warm breeze. “I think they were afraid I’d do something really crazy...like hurt one of their kids.”

A curse escaped his lips on her behalf, harsher than he’d intended, and a fatalistic smile lifted her lips as she went on.

“Most folks don’t understand,” she said with a resigned acceptance. “They think you’re an attention seeker. Or worse, that you’ve gone mad.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Unstable was the expression my boyfriend used when he saw my scars.” The cruel word made Blake wince, but Jax gave a tiny lift of her shoulder. “People just react out of fear,” she said simply, as if she’d come to grips with the truth long ago.

And he hated that she’d had to learn to tolerate such a grim reality. A boyfriend was bad enough, but family? Family was supposed to protect you, to be on your side no matter what.

They certainly should never turn you away.

The twist on his heart torqued harder, and he sat up, emotion making his voice gruff. “You are the most grounded person I know.”

Though he spoke the truth, his words felt so inadequate.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she leaned back on her hands, legs extended.

He was pleased she hadn’t attempted to cover her scars again. But the frustration, the unfairness of all she’d suffered, burned through him. While he’d been dreaming of peeking down his teacher’s blouse and getting into trouble with his friends, she’d been wrestling with a horrendous secret.

“No one should grow up like that,” he said.

Jax sent him a small smile, as if trying to ease the reality of her past. “I’ve come a long way since those days. In high school, I found the teen center, and a music therapist taught me how to play the guitar. I graduated, received counseling in college and landed my dream job.” She followed that statement up with another tiny shrug. “Happy ending.”

A happy ending...

Palm on her hip, he studiously ignored the soft skin beneath his hand, the desire coursing through his veins. She was an extraordinary woman. Yet despite her indomitable will and her amazing ability to bounce back, there was a lingering sense of disconnect between the self-assured female who was confident of her choices...and the insecurity about her sexuality. He sensed it every time they made love.

And now was the time to change that.

Blake leaned forward and placed his lips on her neck, enjoying the responding catch of her breath and her melting sigh. Her pulse throbbed beneath his mouth. Desire clamping hard in his groin, he closed his eyes against his pounding need in deference to hers, moving his mouth lower to her collarbone.

He skimmed his fingers down to her one-piece, and Jax leaned back and lifted her hips, aiding him in his efforts as he slid the fabric the rest of the way off.

“Good call, Suit,” she murmured, as if she were glad he was dropping the subject.

But he wasn’t.

Heart pulsing, he tossed the suit aside and stared at Jax. Naked, breathless and clearly anticipating another wild ride, she stared up at him with a heated gaze that definitely tested his status as a weaker man. And then she parted her legs.