First Time For Everything

Lifeless.

His heart thundered in his chest, and sweat broke out on his brow. Nausea bulged, the acid burning his throat as the contents in his stomach threatened to rebel. Knowing he needed time to regain his composure, he muttered an excuse and pivoted on his heel, weaving around people and a portrait of a woman in a paper medical gown as he headed for the men’s room.

When he pushed open the door, it hit the wall with a resounding thud. Battling the sick feeling, he strode directly to the sink and clutched the basin, the smooth marble cool under his clammy hands. Heat radiated from his body, the effects of the nausea taking hold.

If he’d eaten earlier, he would have vomited.

Willing his body to hold on, he lifted the stopper on the basin and filled the sink, fighting the adrenaline racking his body as he stared into the swirling water. But it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, all he could see was his father’s lifeless face...morphing into the familiar features of Jax.

He splashed cold water on his cheeks, the chilling bite just what he needed to regain control. Drying off with one of the towels provided, he inhaled deeply, forcing a return of logic as he prepared to return to the party. Back to Jax.

And a more firmly laid-out plan to get the woman to see reason.

He found her studying a portrait of a woman sitting on an exam table, sheet covering her lap, starring at the stirrups at the end as if she were about to walk the plank.

The frown on her face was thoughtful. “I don’t think I’d want this one hanging on my wall,” she said easily, oblivious to the turmoil that had wreaked havoc on his system. “But I was hoping you’d bid on the one of the women in the waiting ro—”

“I don’t care about the painting, Jax,” he said, cutting her off even as he forced himself to remain calm.

Or at least appear calm.

Jax stared at him warily. “What is your problem?”

“Right now,” he said, his tone forced as he struggled to keep his voice down, “your stubborn insistence on delaying the wedding is my problem. Not to mention the thought of the mother of my baby spending every day in a less-than-safe side of town.”

She slowly turned to face him, as if preparing to do battle, and tipped her head in skeptical disbelief. A full five seconds passed before she spoke.

“A list of rules won’t save you, Blake. The world is full of danger.”

He swallowed back the scoff, despising the platitude. And the most hated platitude of all?

It was an accident, Blake. Your father’s death is not your fault.

“Some neighborhoods are worse than others, and you know it,” he said. Just another one of those pesky life details that Jax liked to ignore. “We’re a family now and we need to make it official.”

She inhaled slowly, clearly struggling to maintain her temper. “Our baby has plenty of family. A mother, a father and a lovely grandmother that will make him or her awful birthday cakes. Not to mention the fact that Nikki will make a wonderful aunt,” she said firmly, and then she turned on her heel and headed to the next painting.

And suddenly, a horrific possibility occurred to him. She might not say yes. She might not ever say yes. He’d be forced to continue watching her from the sidelines. Jax, with her devil-may-care, to-hell-with-the-risks attitude toward life. Engaging in careless actions that not only led to a probationary status at work, an arrest and legal charges to beat, but also had the potential of getting her killed.

But he was doubly screwed, because now her actions wouldn’t just affect Jax—they put their baby at risk as well....

Fear drove Blake to follow her with a determined stride. “Jax,” he said as he drew closer. “Why do you refuse to make it legal between us?”

“Look, Suit.” She pivoted on her heel to face him. “I’ve always dreamed of having a family,” she said, and her admission launched Blake’s frustration to unseen levels. “But—”

“So marry me,” he implored.

Her eyes flashed, the fire impressive, and she waited a moment before speaking. “As far as I’m concerned,” she said, her voice deceptively low, “I already have an official family.” She tilted that stubborn chin of hers, and Blake knew trouble wasn’t far behind. “I decided long ago that I do not need a man to define the entity. Your mother and sister and our baby are all the family I need,” she said and then continued on her path to the next painting.