Well, not so bare.
His left arm had a tattoo on the forearm. I couldn’t make out what the design was, but the contrast of dark ink, tanned skin, and bright white dress shirt did that same unusual thing to my stomach that made me feel too warm inside. The sheer power I could see in his fingers had me wanting to reach for Violet because surely a man as big as him would use too much force on such a small child. I was in the process of taking the washcloth from Luca when he tipped Violet’s chin up just a tiny bit so he could wipe at some dirt near her ear. He stilled when my fingers came into contact with the wet material, but he didn’t release it.
Violet didn’t seem to notice the strange tug-of-war that was happening between me and Luca. She was too busy drawing some kind of pattern on top of the water.
I was the one who cried uncle and gave up my hold on the washcloth first. Luca continued cleaning Violet’s face like nothing had happened.
“Where did you learn to do the voices?” Luca asked after several beats.
“What?” I asked before I could remind myself I was supposed to be using the silence card against him.
Luca’s eyes slowly shifted to me and it felt like a gut punch. God, what was wrong with me?
“Scooby, Jack…” he said. “Joe.”
He said that last one quietly, like he was afraid of what my reaction would be.
Perceptive man.
Because my reaction was the same that it always was when I thought of Joe.
Joe… another betrayal… another person leaving me behind.
“Remy,” Luca whispered. The pity in his voice helped me shove the memory of Joe away.
“I don’t know, I just learned,” I murmured as I returned my gaze to Violet. But my eyes fell on Luca’s strong fingers. I remembered how he’d gripped my arm when I’d been a kid. He’d pulled me to my feet but there’d been no real pain behind the move. Then his big body had pressed mine against the wall and he’d started whispering things to me.
Things I’d been silently begging every man before him to say.
I’ll come back for you…I promise, I’ll come back.
“When they put me in with other kids, they were usually the new ones,” I continued.
“New ones?”
“Recently taken,” I responded. My skin felt chilled as the dozens and dozens of faces ghosted through my mind. “They were always the younger ones. I think they knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That I wouldn’t leave them. That I wouldn’t try to escape… they were too young to try and run with and I couldn’t just leave them there by themselves. The people watching us… they didn’t like it when the really little kids cried. They weren’t allowed to mark the kids up too bad, but a few bruises wouldn’t affect the price too much. I used the voices to try and keep the kids calm. They didn’t know what was coming, but I did. I figured… I figured they deserved those last moments. The rooms we were kept in usually had a TV and sometimes some DVDs, so after watching a show or movie, I’d start copying the voices.” I shrugged. “Maybe I just made things worse—”
“No,” Luca interjected. “No, you didn’t.”
His certainty had me sneaking a peek at his expression. He was watching Violet, but his mind was elsewhere.
I wanted to know where, but I didn’t dare ask. I couldn’t. This man was not my friend. He was… nothing. I mentally nodded my head. Yeah, he was nothing to me.
“I wasn’t leaving, Remy.”
I opened my mouth to remind him that I didn’t give a shit, but Violet used that moment to let out a loud squeal of excitement and then she began paddling her hands in the water so it went everywhere.
Everywhere.
“Violet!” I said loudly, but the little minx knew I wasn’t upset. She paused only briefly, then began splashing some more. I swore I heard Luca laugh, but I knew that couldn’t be right. I sensed rather than saw him stand. My eyes chose to linger on his backside as he turned away from the tub.
And my stomach started somersaulting all over again as a certain part of my anatomy took notice.
It wasn’t the first time that I’d reacted physically to a good-looking man, but it was the first time I allowed my mind to play with certain mental images before locking them in the vault in my head. It’d been hard as fuck to accept I was gay as I’d gotten older. It’d actually only been a couple of years earlier that I’d come to realize that I was attracted to the very same gender who’d only ever caused me pain. It had been a devastating discovery because it had felt like someone had taken away my last chance at some sense of normalcy. I hadn’t exactly been clinging to the idea of having a wife and kids someday, but somehow knowing I wouldn’t have those things had been like being kidnapped all over again. I’d felt powerless and violated and I’d done what I’d always done… I’d fought it.