Forgotten Luca (The Four 1)

Luca’s easy smile faded. “I thought it would be the worst thing to ever happen to me, but it turned out to be the best.”

“Did you guys get married?” I asked.

Luca shook his head. “When V told me she was pregnant, I told her I didn’t want the baby… that I couldn’t be a father. Even if I’d come from a normal family…”

Luca’s voice dropped off for a second before he finished with, “I couldn’t be a father. I couldn’t risk turning out like…” He shook his head and focused on Violet once again.

I knew he wanted to drop the subject. It was written in the way he held himself, in how quiet he’d gone as he cuddled Violet and watched her eat. I should have let it go, but I’d never seen him so vulnerable. From the day he’d strode into that room when I’d been a kid, I’d felt his power, confidence and control. He’d been back in my life for such a short time, but all those things were still there. But he’d let me have little glimpses of something else too… something just under the surface. It was the something I’d latched on to as a child. In that room in that awful house eight years earlier, he’d been strong and in charge, but he’d been scared too. I’d heard it in the crack of his voice as he’d whispered to me that everything would be okay, even as he’d put on a show for the cameras.

He’d fought despite his fear.

So after he’d left, I’d done the same. No matter what my captors had done to me after that, I’d fought.

And not just because I’d believed Luca was coming back for me.

But because I’d wanted him to be proud of me for surviving when he did find me again.

I’d had moments like the one he was having too, though. Moments where I’d felt so tired that my resolve had started to fade.

“Like?” I prodded carefully. At worst, Luca could shut the conversation down. It was a risk I was willing to take. My need to know the answer was greater than my need to not churn up the calm waters between us.

Instead of answering, Luca looked directly at me and I just knew. No idea how, I just did. It bordered on scary, how certain I was.

“Your father,” I said. He didn’t confirm it, but he didn’t need to. “What changed?” I asked.

“Vaughn,” Luca returned.

“He convinced you that you wouldn’t be like your father?”

Luca shook his head. “He convinced me that it was okay not to be.”

“I don’t understand,” I admitted.

Luca looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “Our father had big dreams for himself. Not us… just himself. You know those gangsters like Al Capone and Bugsy Siegel? Well, Vidone Covello pictured his name would be in the history books alongside the likes of them. He wanted to be respected… feared. The funny thing is, he was a great businessman and he could have had all those things if he’d just focused on making a name for himself that way. But given the choice to earn a legitimate buck or a questionable one, he’d go for the questionable one every time. He built businesses based on intimidation and fear… crooked deals were more satisfying than negotiating good ones. Swindling people was a rush. When our mom paid for it with her life, it just became more of an obsession with him. He was convinced it was a professional hit meant to send him into hiding when it was really nothing more than a broken man getting revenge against our father for cheating him and causing him to lose everything.”

Luca fell silent for a moment. “Vaughn and I bought into what he was selling for a long time, but I think all we really wanted to do was please him. Which meant I couldn’t have a kid at nineteen years old. My father had a lot of plans and none of them included his son having his own child… or being a fag.”

I barely managed to stifle the sound that tried to burst free at Luca’s admission about his sexuality. The crude word he’d used was telling. I doubted it was his word, but rather his father’s.

“You said Vaughn changed things for you.”

Luca nodded. “Vaughn and I had been acting for so long, I think we both got caught up in it. We’d let our father put us in these roles he’d created after our mother died. Vaughn was the brawn and I was the brains. I was the face of the business, Vaughn was the muscle behind it. But we were never those people. The first thing Vaughn said about me becoming a father was how much our mother would have loved that… after lecturing me on safe sex practices, of course.” Luca smiled again and I instantly felt the rubber band that had been stretched tight within my chest start to relax. “We spent hours just talking about our mom and I started to realize that maybe I’d end up being a great parent like she was. V had already decided to keep the baby, no matter what, but I’m ashamed to say it took me a little longer to get on board.”