Tempting Fate (Love in Eden 1.50)

I’d always wondered why Jackson was no longer married. He’d never really told me why he and Jolene had broken up after seventeen years of marriage, but as I studied the pictures, I couldn't help but once again wonder what had gone wrong between them. Jackson clearly loved being a dad and he and Jolene seemed to get along well so it didn’t really make sense to me why their marriage had ended.

I set the pictures back down on the nightstand and was about to get up when I noticed a laptop sitting open on Jackson's bed. I told myself not to snoop, but I couldn’t really help it I hadn’t known the man even had a laptop, let alone actually used it. It'd taken me years just to get him to upgrade his flip phone to a smart phone so that he could video chat with his kid.

His computer was open to his email program. Guilt for even looking at that much had me starting to turn away when my eyes suddenly caught on a few words in bold.

Thank you, your ad has been successfully posted.

I felt my heart jump into my throat at the word “ad.” Was Jackson considering leaving Broken Tree Ranch? Maybe that was why he had the laptop… so he could hunt for jobs. The idea of him leaving the ranch, or worse, the town of Eden altogether, had my breathing increasing again. It was all I could do not to stride into the bathroom and demand an explanation.

Take a breath, Travis.

They were Jackson's words.

Ones he often spoke to me when I’d get too worked up about something. He always said them to me in the calmest of voices and he usually put his hand on my shoulder and kept it there until I could get control of myself again. The strangest things had a way of setting me off and bringing back the ugliness of my childhood, but Jackson was always there to guide me back to the present. And he'd managed to do it in a way that none of the other hands, or Mac himself, ever saw.

Everyone else viewed me as the young hothead who liked taking risks and pushing boundaries. I was always the first one to jump off the cliff and into the murky depths without knowing what was beneath the choppy waters, but it wasn't for the reasons that everyone thought. Only Jackson knew that it was fear that drove me to the edge of that cliff, not excitement. I didn't know why, but he'd always covered for me. What was stranger, though, was that we never talked about it. I knew he knew how messed up I really was, but I hid from him as surely as I did from everyone else. Yet, when I was in the midst of having one of my moments where my temper got the best of me or it was fear rather than passion that drove my responses, Jackson was the one talking me down and reminding me to breathe.

I did just that as I pulled the laptop closer.

Jackson wasn't going anywhere.

I'd make sure of that.

Even if I had to talk to Mac myself about a pay raise for Jackson or I had to beg Jolene not to move their kid somewhere that would force Jackson to follow, the man was staying put. I didn't care how selfish I was being. I reasoned that it was what was best for Jackson, not me.

But as I started reading the ad in the bottom half of the email, my worry was replaced by shock. When I finished reading it, I started all over again just to be sure I’d read it right the first time.

We bonded over a screw... of the nuts and bolt variety.

In search of the guy I met at Delaney's Hardware in Casper.

You asked for my number, but I didn't give it to you.

Hoping fate will give me a second chance.

Remember the cabin I mentioned? Meet me there next weekend.

I'm ready for more now.

All I could do was stare at the short little sentences as I tried to make sense of what they meant.

Disbelief reverberated through me and I found myself slamming the laptop shut.

"He's gay," I whispered to myself because if I didn't say it out loud, I knew my brain would never be able to process it.

Jackson was gay. He was gay and he’d kept it from me.

The sense of betrayal was keen.

I began pacing back and forth by the bed, eyeing the laptop like it was the source of all evil. I wanted to kick myself for having even looked at the damn thing in the first place. Not only was I an asshole for invading Jackson's privacy, but I was an even bigger asshole for being so pissed... and not really knowing why. My fists were clenched at my sides and it took everything in me not to punch a hole in the wall.