Tempting Fate (Love in Eden 1.50)

It was the most ridiculous way to think of a man's mouth. Not to mention I shouldn't even be thinking of a man's mouth in the first place.

That same sense of agitation that had driven my fist through the wall came back and it was all I could do not to rip my hand free of Jackson's and ask him what the fuck he was thinking with that stupid ad. I almost ended up glancing at the hated laptop but somehow managed to keep my eyes on him. My skin felt warm and tingly where he was touching it and I wondered why.

Probably just a delayed pain response, I told myself.

"Let me go get a bandage," Jackson said softly as his eyes lifted to mine. The way he was looking at me made it feel like I'd been punched in the gut. I told myself it was the sense of betrayal that was making me feel breathless and nothing else.

"It's fine," I snapped as I pulled my hand from his. The strange tingling sensation stopped.

What the fuck?

"I'll fix the wall," I bit out. I swore that Jackson actually looked hurt. He glanced over his shoulder at the wall and then shook his head.

"Don't worry about it," he said.

I felt like an even bigger asshole for my behavior and that just made me more confused. I knew I should apologize but all I could think about was that goddamn ad.

I'm ready for more now.

What exactly was he ready for? To fuck a guy? To do more than that? I wanted to yell at him that he couldn't be out in a town like Eden. Hell, most of Wyoming wouldn't accept him. Not only would he be putting his job at risk, his very life could be at stake.

That's not what has you upset.

I told the voice in my head to shove it and took a step back from Jackson. His expression fell and he turned on his heel. "I'll be out in a minute," he said. "Wouldn't want you to keep Brandy waiting," he added, his voice full of irritation.

It took me a good twenty seconds to remember who the hell Brandy was. Ten minutes ago she'd been the woman I'd been chasing for weeks… not for a date, but for some harmless fun for one night. Now I just wanted to blow the woman off so that I could figure out how to tell Jackson he was making a terrible mistake.

I began pacing the room again, the throbbing in my hand starting to become more obvious. But the pain helped keep me grounded. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly helpful because as I worked to dismiss the idea of Jackson being hurt by some guy, I started to wonder about whoever the nameless, faceless man was that he was trying to find.

What if it turned into something? What if the "more" he was talking about really happened? The image I'd had earlier of Jackson being held down by his would-be assailant shifted to one of him clinging to a hard body that was covering his. I didn't even really understand the logistics of it, but in my head I saw Jackson lying beneath the man he was so eager to find. Jackson's head was thrown back and his arms were wrapped around the guy’s naked back. Their mouths were fused together and there was sweat clinging to Jackson's body. The moans that were falling from his lips were…

"Fuck," I breathed as my own body reacted to the vision in my head.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I thinking about Jackson and his would-be lover? It was absolutely none of my business. He'd made it so by not telling me about any of it.

Between the emotions that were consuming me and my body reacting physically to the image I couldn't get out of my head, I felt like a raw, exposed nerve. I was dimly aware of the shower shutting off. I tried to focus on the fact that it meant that I’d get to see Brandy soon—that I'd be able to grab her and drag her to the bathroom in the back of the shitty bar we were going to. She wasn't exactly discriminating when it came to sex in public places. I knew that because I'd seen her and her boyfriend going at it in his truck as well as the alley behind the hair salon where she worked.

But none of my thoughts were about fucking Brandy against the stall in the bathroom or having her on her knees in front of me, expertly taking me to the back of her throat.

My eyes shifted to the laptop on Jackson's bed. Before I even knew what I was doing, I was sitting in front of it and opening it back up. Thankfully, Jackson hadn't thought to secure the laptop with a password, so it opened right back up to the email it'd been on. I scanned the whole thing again. The hosting site was something called Heart2Heart. I saw some kind of tagline relating to the LGBTQ community, but my eyes lingered on the line beneath the ad itself.