Tempting Fate (Love in Eden 1.50)

"Make sure you're both back by Monday," was all Mac said and then he shut the door in my face. While the permission to take time off was a relief, the fact that Mac seemed to know something that even I didn't quite understand scared the shit out of me. But I also didn't hesitate to turn on my heel and hurry back to my room to get some stuff.

I was going after Jackson, but I didn't know why and I didn't know what would happen. But I did know that I needed to see him again so I could put an end to this thing once and for all. I’d get Jackson and myself back to where we’d been… to being friends. And then everything would get back to normal.

Yeah, normal… that was what I wanted.

Wasn’t it?

Chapter 4

Jackson

My heart was in my throat as I approached the front door of the cabin but it wasn't because I was eager to see who it was knocking on the other side. In fact, it was the opposite. I reminded myself of a couple of things as I forced one foot in front of the other. First off, it was Tuesday, not the weekend, so there was no way that Hal would arrive so soon. Secondly, there’d been no responses to my ad in my email so the chances that Hal had even seen it seemed unlikely. Third, and most importantly, I’d had enough time to realize that even if Hal somehow miraculously did show up, he wasn't the man I wanted… or needed.

I couldn't remember much about what had happened after I’d left the bar, but Jolene had managed to fill in a couple of the blank spots, including the fact that Mac and his girlfriend had been the ones to give me a ride to her house. When I’d gone to Mac to ask for some time off, he'd given it to me without question and it made me wonder what kinds of things I'd said to him. He’d also made an elusive comment about Travis being a dick.

He was right about that, of course. Travis was a dick. But he really wasn't.

Travis was just being Travis. The only claim I had on him was the one in my heart. And while I couldn’t have claimed him publicly even if he’d been interested in me, I silently considered myself his.

Which meant I had no interest in giving myself to Hal or any other random stranger. If I couldn't have Travis, I didn't want anyone. I knew what a fool that made me and that I was condemning myself to a life of loneliness and heartbreak, but I couldn't pretend it was anything other than what it was. I was in love with Travis Rush and had been for a while. Just like I hadn't been able to turn off being gay, I couldn't turn off the feelings I had for the man.

I'd already decided that while I'd have to learn to live with those feelings, I didn't have to condemn myself to a lifetime of watching Travis with whatever bimbo he’d latched onto each weekend. I couldn't do that to myself. While I didn't want to lose Travis's friendship, there was just no way I could watch him build a life with someone who should have been me. That meant moving on without really moving on.

Okay, yeah, so I was technically running away. It wasn’t a fact I was proud of, but I didn’t see any other way out.

There were plenty of ranches in Eden looking for qualified help. Since I'd never leave Eden while my son was still living there, and coming out as gay wasn't an option or even really necessary since my heart had latched itself to Travis, I'd settled on loving Travis from afar. Once I got back to the ranch on Monday, I’d start putting feelers out for a new job. I hated the thought of leaving Broken Tree, but the idea of being so close to Travis and not being able to touch him was no longer a possibility.

I was done.

Just done.

I hadn't even quite made it to the door when it suddenly flew open and the man I'd been thinking nonstop about stormed into the cabin. I opened my mouth to speak but snapped it shut when I saw the darkness in Travis’s eyes. It actually made me nervous. He looked like a man possessed. And yeah, it also kind of turned me on.

Travis’s eyes held mine for the briefest of moments and then he was scanning the cabin. He strode past me and snapped, "Where is he?"

"Who?" I managed to ask. "Travis, what are you doing here?"

He didn't respond right away. Instead, he began looking through the few rooms that made up the cabin including the bathroom, the small bedroom and even the single closet near the front door. I could feel the anger radiating off him.