Always Mine (Love in Eden 1)

Chapter 18

Xavier

"I can’t do this," Brooks said as he shook his head frantically.

"Yes, you can, you're doing fine." I put my hand on his leg and stroked it. I looked around us to make sure no one was watching or within earshot and added, “Just remember that there's a surprise waiting for you at the end of all this."

Brooks frowned at me. "I hate surprises."

I chuckled and responded, "No you don't. And even if you did, I promise, you'll love this one."

My lover let out a rough sigh and then stiffened his shoulders. "Okay, let's do this. Buttercup, please, please, don't kill me."

I laughed again as the little mare Brooks was sitting on actually turned her head as if to look at him. She was the smallest horse on the property, and one of the oldest. She also couldn't be convinced to do much more than a languid walk even if the wolves of hell were nipping at her heels. If the old mare moved any slower, she'd be dead. I’d told all this to Brooks, but it hadn’t made him feel any better. Then again, he wouldn't be my Brooks if he’d just gotten on the horse and been ready to gallop through a field somewhere.

Brooks gave Buttercup a little nudge with his heels, but predictably, the horse didn't move. Brooks looked down at me and shrugged his shoulders. "You have to use a little bit more oomph," I said with a smile. "Give her a good squeeze. Kind of like you did me when you were riding me last night."

I swore Brooks blushed to the roots of his hair. "Jesus, Xavier."

At least he wasn't scared anymore. Brooks gave Buttercup a few more kicks, and then finally one big one to get her moving. As soon as she took a step, he grabbed onto the saddle horn and began begging the horse to slow down, though she was barely moving. I leaned back against the rail of the small corral we were in and enjoyed the sight of Brooks and his new, too snug jeans that cupped his ass just right.

It'd been a few days since we’d gotten back to Eden and the only time we spent apart was when we were both taking care of our respective responsibilities around the ranch. Well, that wasn't quite true. We also spent part of each night apart because I refused to let Brooks sleep in the same bed with me after we made love. It was, perhaps, the biggest bone of contention between us. We’d fought about it throughout the night the first night we’d returned to Eden. I'd moved back into the main house, and we’d made love in my room, and then in our shared bathroom. After we’d showered together, I’d sent Brooks back to his room. Or at least I’d tried.

He’d been so heartbroken by the dismissal that I’d had to grab him and explain that I wasn't rejecting him, but I couldn't trust myself to sleep in the bed with him. I was too worried that I'd have one of my nightmares and inadvertently attack him like I had the night he’d tried to wake me up several weeks earlier. He’d argued with me over and over that he knew I wouldn't hurt him, but I'd been adamant and we’d both ended up going to bed angry and apart.

I’d gone to Brooks's room early the next morning and had woken him up with kisses that I'd hoped would convey both my regret and my apologies. I'd made love to him, and then we’d just lain in his bed and talked. The subject of sleeping together in the same bed had come up again, but I’d stayed firm in my position and Brooks had let it drop.

I was still amazed that despite being at Black Hills Ranch, Brooks and I were still finding ways to be with each other whenever we could. I’d been so sure that somehow being back at the ranch would destroy the progress we'd made since I’d followed him to Casper. No, we weren’t out to any of the ranch hands, or even Curtis, but I wasn't sure if that was more because we wanted the privacy to just get to know each other better or if it was the fear of what would happen when one or both of us admitted we were gay. Brooks had wanted to tell Curtis, but I'd resisted because to me, Curtis was like a father to Brooks and I had the sick feeling that if Curtis knew Brooks and I were together, even if it was temporary, he wouldn't approve.

So Brooks and I were keeping it quiet, but that also made it more fun in some ways. We had to be creative about where we met up, and we had to be quiet when we were having sex. The latter was not easy for Brooks. And boy, did I like to challenge him when it came to the sounds he made when we were making love.