I tumbled out of bed and opened the door, and was surprised to find Eden standing there. He was dressed in gray sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, and he started to say, “Hey. I saw your light on, and—”
His words just sort of ran out as his gaze slid down my body and paused on those pink briefs. I knew better than to get my hopes up when things like this happened. It wasn’t that he was interested, something had just caught him off guard. This time it was probably the porn star-grade underwear, instead of some everyday Fruit of the Looms.
After a moment, he pulled his gaze back up to my face. Then he immediately became concerned and asked, “Have you been crying?”
I turned away and mumbled, “No.”
“Yes, you have. Look at me, Seth.”
When I turned back to him with my gaze lowered, he gently grasped my shoulders and said, “You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”
“Please don’t make a big deal out of this,” I said. “It’s really embarrassing.”
“Okay. Just one more thing, though.” He drew me into a hug, and I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. It was the most comforting thing I could possibly imagine.
We stayed wrapped up in each other for a long moment. When we finally let go, both of us were feeling a little self-conscious, and I crossed the room and retrieved a T-shirt from my dresser. As I pulled it on, Eden said, “I’m too wound up to sleep, so I decided to go downstairs and watch a movie. I saw your light on under your door and came to ask if you wanted to join me. I was thinking about watching the latest Godzilla movie, and I know how much you like those, so—”
“I’d love to. One sec.” I grabbed a pair of shorts and pulled them on, and as we left my room, I asked, “What about Casey?” Eden paused outside my brother’s door and grinned at me. We could hear him snoring. “Oh. Yeah, we should let him sleep.”
We left the light off in the family room and sat down on opposite ends of the couch. Eden picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and started to navigate through the menus to get to the movie we wanted. He didn’t look at me as he said, very softly, “I really wish you’d tell me what was making you cry.”
“It wasn’t anything in particular. I just get sad once in a while. Don’t you?”
“Yeah, sometimes.” Eden cued up the movie and set aside the remote. After a moment, he murmured, “It’s cold in here.” He grabbed a crocheted blanket and moved to my end of the couch, and then he covered both of us with it.
The constant ache in my chest became almost unbearable. He was right there, and I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him. All I could think about was kissing him, and climbing into his lap and letting him hold me. It would feel so good. Better than anything. But, as always, I held back.
We stayed like that for the entire movie—so close, but also painfully far apart.
Chapter 4
The next afternoon, I went to visit my friends Josh and Darwin. I’d met them through Jasper, and they were a beautiful couple. They were both in college and lived with Josh’s great grandma, Nana Dombruso. Apparently Darwin’s parents had gotten really weird about the fact that he was trans, so she’d taken him in. Since Josh and Darwin were madly in love, Josh had followed once he graduated from high school.
We played video games for a while, and then Josh checked the time and grinned as he adjusted his glasses. “We’d better get Nana,” he said. “It’s almost time for Humpington’s special delivery.” They had an ongoing feud with the homophobic asshole across the street, whose name was actually something like Huntington. The things they came up with to troll him were pure genius, and I couldn’t wait to see what they’d thought up this time.
The three of us found Nana in the kitchen, frosting a yule log. I had no idea why she was making that type of cake in early October, but whatever.
Nana was one of my very favorite people, partly because she had absolutely no filter. I had no idea if it was something she’d developed as she’d gotten older, or if she’d always been like that. I also loved her because she was the biggest LGBTQ ally I’d ever met in my life.
Darwin repeated what Josh had said about the special delivery, and Nana immediately dropped her spatula and exclaimed, “We need to find a good spot to watch the show! I can’t wait to see what you cooked up.”
“We need to lay low,” Josh said, as he led the way to the living room. “Humpington’s learned to put his guard up when he sees us in the front yard. I have two cameras set up out there to capture the action, and we can watch from inside, as long as we’re not all pressed up against the glass where he can see us.”