Forbidden: King (The Four 4)

Then again, what if Eden hadn’t recognized me in those photos, and what if the vice department had caught me in its trap? As bad as this was, it would have been much worse if he and Casey had found out the truth because I’d gotten arrested.

This was still a disaster, though. My life felt totally untethered, and I had no idea what I was doing. Returning to St. Louis probably wasn’t the best call, but neither was staying in this house and this city with Eden. Like I kept telling myself, I had to break the endless cycle of wanting someone I could never have, so it might as well be now. And going back home had to be better than staying here and feeling judged by the two people whose opinions mattered more to me than anyone else’s.

Chapter 6

The next morning, I went downstairs and placed a letter I’d written to George on his recliner. Then I continued down the hall and found Casey and Eden deep in conversation at the kitchen table. They both shut up and turned to look at me when I stepped into the room. Great. I could only imagine what they’d been saying about me.

As I filled my travel mug with coffee, I asked Eden, “Did you get some time off? If not, that’s okay. I can probably find a way to ship my stuff home and then take the bus.” Even though I’d wanted that time with him, I was starting to think this was a bad idea. There was every chance we’d either sit in awkward silence, or he’d lecture me the entire way.

“I have the next seven days off. I figure three days there, three to get back, and a day in between to help you get settled and visit my parents and a few friends. I already had the next two days off, and I was able to find people to cover for me the rest of the week,” he said. “I have to ask though, are you sure this is what you want?”

I tried to sound confident as I said, “Absolutely. I’m done packing, so we can leave whenever you’re ready.” This wasn’t the time to seem hesitant or express any doubts. I wanted these two to think I had everything under control, and I chose to ignore the worried looks they exchanged.

Casey asked, “Don’t you want to have breakfast first?”

Since I really didn’t want to drag this out, I grabbed my protein bars from the cabinet and stuck them in the pocket of my hoodie. “I’m all set.”

It took less than ten minutes for the three of us to load my stuff into the bed of the pickup truck. While Eden tied a tarp over the bags and boxes, Casey pulled me aside and told me, “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“No, I’m doing this.”

My brother frowned and muttered, “It’s going to be weird having you that far away.” He was right. We’d never had any real distance between us. Even when he’d moved out of our parents’ house in his early twenties, he’d gotten an apartment right around the corner, which became a second home to me.

“It’s not forever,” I promised. “I’ll come back after I get a few things sorted out.”

Casey crushed me in a hug. “If you need anything, anything at all, call me.”

“I will.”

“I love you, bro.”

I was proud of Casey. Our family never actually said that out loud when we were growing up. Even worse, our dad had tried to teach us emotions were a sign of weakness. We’d spent a lot of years unlearning that crap, and both of us were still works in progress, but that showed me he was evolving.

I murmured, “I love you, too.” After I promised frequent texts and calls, as well as check-ins from the road, I climbed into the passenger seat. Then I put on my mirrored aviator sunglasses to hide the glisten of tears in my eyes.

Eden and Casey had a quick discussion out of earshot. Eden was probably promising to lecture the living hell out of me and make me see the error of my ways. The best friends exchanged a quick, back-slapping embrace before Eden slid behind the wheel.

He hit the garage door opener on his sun visor, and as he started the engine and rolled out into the street, I pulled my phone from my pocket. Maybe the best approach was to try to keep myself occupied, in case he was cueing up that lecture.

This was going to be a long fucking drive. It was just over two thousand miles, which would take around thirty hours, according to the driving directions on my screen. On the way here in January, the three of us had taken our time and made a mini-vacation out of it. We’d altered our route to visit a friend of Casey’s in Denver, took a couple of days to go snowboarding in Utah, and just generally had fun along the way. Ten months later, this was going to be a very different trip.