Locked In Silence (Pelican Bay 1)

I decided it was all irrelevant since last night had been a one-time thing. Even if Dallas hadn’t been the one to say it, I should have. Pelican Bay was a layover for me, so even if by some miracle a guy like Dallas could be interested in a guy like me outside of the bedroom, I had absolutely no desire to stay in town any longer than I absolutely had to.

Not even for Dallas Kent.

I practically saw my lips move in my reflection as I called myself a liar.

Okay, so I didn’t want to be in a position where I even had to think about a choice like that. My plan was to get my parents back on their feet financially, and then I was going to find a nice big city to start over in. My career as a professional violinist was over, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t still use music to pay the bills.

I forced myself to push thoughts of Dallas and the night before aside and quickly got dressed. I rushed past the kitchen, not even bothering with coffee since Dallas had a small coffee pot in his office. But just as I reached the door, I heard my mother’s voice.

“Nolan, is that you?”

“Yeah,” I called. “I’m late for work.”

“Just a minute, dear,” she said, and I knew that meant I had to go to her instead of waiting for her to come to me. I hurried to the kitchen and found my mother preparing breakfast.

My mother had finally accepted the fact that I had an actual real job about a week ago and had eventually stopped insisting I be at home at certain times to watch my father, but she’d yet to figure out that said job was the only thing keeping the lights on and the bill collectors at bay.

“Sit,” she said as she pointed to one of the kitchen chairs.

“I can’t, I’m late,” I said as I motioned to the front door.

She pinned me with her gaze and nodded toward the chair. I sat and tapped my fingers on the table. Maybe I should let Dallas know I was running late so he wouldn’t think I’d changed my mind about coming back.

“What was that Kent boy’s truck doing outside the house last night?”

I hated the clench in my belly as her automatic disapproval washed over me.

“He came to talk me,” I hedged. After he fucked me so good and so hard I think he might have ruined me for other men.

“Why are you smiling, Nolan? I don’t see anything amusing about the situation.”

I hadn’t even realized I was smiling. Since I couldn’t very well tell her that getting monumentally fucked in the back of a car by your high school fantasy come to life was bound to put a smile on anyone’s face, I settled for, “What situation? We were just talking.”

“That boy doesn’t talk,” she reminded me impatiently. “What were you doing with him?”

“Talking about work stuff. Which I’m going to be late for, by the way.”

“Work?” she whispered, her face pulling into a horrified expression. She actually looked out the window like she was expecting to see Dallas’s truck sitting on the street, or worse, in the driveway. “You work for him?”

“Dallas, Mom. His name is Dallas. And yes, I work for him.”

“You can’t!” she said. “Your father and I will be laughingstocks!”

I couldn’t stop the chuckle that came out of my mouth. “Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t you laugh at me, young man,” she snapped. “It’s already bad enough that I have to live down the fact that my boy is a thief and a…” Her voice dropped off.

“And a fag?” I asked quietly.

For once, she actually looked embarrassed. “We don’t say that word in this house.”

“But you’re allowed to think it, right? I guess deviant is the socially acceptable word, right?”

“That boy brought shame to this entire community when he killed his parents and started that…that zoo! Are you and he…are you…fornicating?” She whispered the last word as if someone was close enough to hear.

I climbed to my feet. “It’s a wildlife center and sanctuary, Mom. It takes in animals that people fucked over and it tries to give them a better life.”

“Nolan, langu-”

“And yeah, I’m a fag. I like dick. We established that when I was sixteen years old and you told me never to mention it again or I wouldn’t have a family anymore. And as for that damn violin, I’m done telling you something that you should have believed without question because I’m your son.”

I snatched my coat off the table. “Watch what you say about Dallas Kent. He’s the only reason you still have a roof over your head,” I bit out.

I was seething with a mix of rage and nerves when I arrived at the center. I met Dallas as I was rounding the corner of the office building. His arms came up to catch me before I slammed into him and his face pulled into a frown.