“Cam?” Ford said softly, his voice full of hesitation. I could literally feel him vibrating against my back with need, but his indecision had my heart beating painfully in my chest. I’d given him free rein to fuck me and still he was hesitating.
And I was pretty sure I knew why.
“You won’t hurt me, baby,” I said as I looked over my shoulder at him. “I need this so fucking bad, Ford.”
His eyes held mine a moment, then dropped to look between our bodies. I gasped when I felt the pressure start to grow around my hole. I forced myself to relax and push back against him. It seemed to take forever for his tip to get past that outer muscle, but when it finally did, my body screamed out with a mix of pain and relief.
It was pure perfection.
And we’d only just gotten started.
Chapter Twelve
Ford
I wanted to go slow, I really did.
But then he said my name.
Just my name.
He was so hot and tight around me and it felt like my head was going to explode and that fucking box inside me didn’t exist anymore and I just wanted to stay with him like that forever… but then he said my name.
This big, powerful, beautiful man who, for some explicable reason, actually seemed to care about me said my name… and he did it in a way that no one ever had. Like he needed me. Not someone… me. Ford Cornell, the bad seed who never got things quite right and who didn’t have the strength to banish the devil inside him.
“I’m sorry, Cam,” I groaned as I pushed into him hard. I felt tears of relief and shame flood my eyes and slip down my face as I pulled back and once again pushed into the scorching flesh that was so tight around my cock that it had to have been made just for me. All the rage that had been building in my system as I’d tried to put what was in my head onto the blank canvas that was my studio wall had flatlined the second Cam’s heat had enveloped the head of my dick, sucked it in even. I never wanted to see that blackness of my soul again but I knew it would come back.
It always did.
I began pumping my hips in earnest as the friction on my cock caused something inside me to build and build. The sensation was a thousand times more powerful than when I’d jacked off to thoughts of being with Cam like this.
Cam grunted as my body slapped against his. His gorgeous back was covered in dark paint and he had both his hands flat against the wall. His pants were down around his ankles, as were mine. At some point, I’d moved my hands to his hips so I could pull them away from the wall. I wanted to throw up when I saw the bruises that were already forming from how hard I was holding onto him.
I was hurting him. I had to be.
But I couldn’t stop.
I was a selfish asshole. I knew that.
But I still couldn’t stop.
I rammed into him over and over. I couldn’t take my eyes off the way my cock slid in and out of him. That push and pull sensation was like a drug, yet every time I pulled out of him, I just wanted to get back inside of him. It was insanity.
“Ford,” Cam groaned. His head was hung as he braced himself against the wall. I was pounding into him like an animal. It didn’t feel like enough, though. I had him completely at my mercy, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be inside him harder and deeper and faster. I wanted that box to fucking disintegrate and the blackness to slip beneath the surface of my soul like I’d slipped beneath the surface of that ice-covered pond so many years ago.
I whispered another apology to Cam and pulled free of his body.
But not to release him.
No, my body had long since taken over and it was almost like I was watching from afar. The arm that went around Cam’s waist, the hand that pushed his shoulder down until his knees buckled, the body that draped itself over his as he supported himself on hands and knees… it was all me and I could feel it all, but the monstrous part of me that I’d sworn would never rear its ugly head was in full control. I cried out in relief as I shoved my dick back inside Cam’s body. I heard him moan and felt one of his hands reach behind him to grip my outer thigh, but I didn’t slow down. I didn’t ask if he was okay. The race to reach that place where nothing would exist but pleasure and peace was calling to me.