“Did you have an accident?” I asked.
Ford shook his head. “But the cop had to swerve to avoid hitting a car that pulled between my car and his while making a turn. He hit a tree.”
“What did you do?” I asked as my stomach dropped out.
Ford was quiet for so long that I was certain he wasn’t going to answer me. And when he did, I almost wished he hadn’t.
“Nothing.”
Chapter Twenty
Ford
I thought for sure I’d said enough to finally get him to see the truth, but when I tried again to move away from him, he refused to release me.
“Let me go, Cam,” I demanded. “I want to go.”
“No.” That was all he said before he rolled us so that I was lying beneath him.
“Let go.” I tried making it an order, but my voice cracked. Why the hell had I told him the truth?
“Make me,” Cam responded.
I knew I was strong enough to get him off me, or at least make him work to keep me pinned down.
But I didn’t move.
“Is that all you’ve got, Ford?” he asked, gentling his voice. He released one of my hands and wiped at my damp cheek. We hadn’t gotten dressed after the shower, so I could feel his naked body flush against mine. Under any other circumstances, I would have been beyond excited. But right then, all I felt was sick inside.
“Did you think you’d scare me off?” he asked. “Did you think I’d actually believe you were anything like your brother?”
“I am,” I whispered. “I hurt Theo and that police officer and I didn’t care—”
“Then why the fuck are you crying?” he asked. “If you didn’t care about Theo or the cop or stealing, then why is the guilt eating you up inside? Why does it keep you from lifting a hand to defend yourself against your brother? Why even tell me at all?”
“Because I thought I could change—”
“You don’t have to change, Ford!” Cam snapped. “There is nothing wrong with you. You made a mistake. A terrible mistake with terrible consequences. You did a bad thing, but you’re not a bad person. Bad people don’t shovel their elderly neighbor’s driveway or nearly freeze to death saving his life and his property. They don’t obsess over being too rough with someone during sex. They don’t put their own health at risk to keep commitments. They don’t give a shit if they let other people down.” Cam stroked my cheek with his thumb. “And they sure as hell don’t drive themselves crazy with fear when someone they barely know gets hurt on the job.”
I wanted to cry all over again because I couldn’t believe he was accepting what I’d told him. That he seemed to be forgiving me for it.
“I know you,” I murmured. “I know you better than you think.”
Cam smiled. “Yes, you do,” he responded, his voice soft and knowing. When he leaned down to kiss me, I opened my mouth in invitation, but he kept the kiss tamer than I would have liked. “Will you tell me the rest?” he asked.
I didn’t want to. I wanted to just lie there with him and lose myself in his touch. I wanted to shove shit back into my box and wrap the fucker up in so much duct tape that it would never see the light of day. But knowing Cam had heard the worst of it and hadn’t judged me made it easier to nod my head. He kissed me again, then settled us so that he was once again on his back and I was lying draped over his chest. I stared at the fire that was burning strong in the hearth.
“After I saw the police officer crash his car, I kind of came back to myself and realized what I’d done. I went home. Jimmy was already there. So were my parents and Uncle Curtis. He’d told them Theo and I had been together and I realized he hadn’t fallen for my act. I felt even more ashamed for what I’d done. My mom was freaking out about people finding out I’d sinned like that. She was talking about the devil taking over my soul and all this other stuff and that’s when I blurted out what had happened with the cop. I couldn’t stop crying and saying I was sorry. I was sure my parents were going to kick me out… that’s what Theo’s parents had always said they’d do if any of their kids were gay.”
“What did your parents do?” Cam asked.
“Took care of everything. Them and Uncle Curtis.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were a family, first and foremost,” I said. “Even through all our ups and downs, my mom believes family always comes first. I’m still not sure how they did it but Uncle Curtis managed to make it so I only got charged for stealing the beer and gas. I guess he knew the cop who crashed his car. Luckily, he wasn’t seriously injured. My parents paid for the damages to the car and for the guy’s medical bills. I had to do community service for the other charges but since I was a juvenile, the judge sealed my record.”