Iron Gold (Red Rising Saga 4)

“They’ll do,” I say.

“They’ll do,” he repeats. “On what do you base that? Apollonius? He’s barking mad. Riled up for a suicide run. They’ll get ripped to shreds out there, and we’ll be left holding our pricks against a fortress. We didn’t prepare for this.”

“How do you prepare for a kick in the balls?” I say. “You don’t. You suck it up.”

“That supposed to inspire me? His men are past their prime.” He glares at me. He’s been moody ever since we landed and saw the state of the Valii-Rath holdings. “And they ain’t the only ones.”

“You trying to say something?”

“Obviously, because everyone else is sucking down your myth like it’s milk from a cow’s tit.”

“Then say it. Go on. Thraxa won’t mind.” Thraxa looks awkwardly at her datapad.

“I’ve backed you this whole way. Someone mutters something, I knock them down and give them a good old speech. But you know why I’ve been loud as a mouse since we got here? I was waiting for you to realize how shit this is. They don’t have the manpower. Apollonius is insane. This is not going to work.” He crosses his arms and looks as if he’s marveling at his own stupidity. “I didn’t even want to come. It’s been a month since we got any news from home. A bloodydamn month.”

My anger flares. “Then why the hell did you come?”

“Because I don’t want to raise your kid,” he snaps. “I came to keep you breathing. And to keep the rest of them safe from you.”

The words knock the anger out of me.

“You think you need to keep them safe from me?”

“Don’t I? Look where you’ve led your best friends. Look how many gravestones follow us. And you know why that is?”

“Have a feeling you’re gonna tell me.”

“You take shortcuts. Straightest line through any field of shit, and trust that everything will be ripe and splendid.”

“Seems to have worked out fine enough. We—”

“Hold on,” he says, cutting me off. “Let me ask Ragnar if he agrees.” He looks around. “Oh, wait. He’s not here. Let me ask Pax. Oops. Lorn…oops. Pops…” He holds up his hands. “Can’t ask him either. You’re so hungry to end this that you’re gonna gamble the whole mine on one half-assed hand.”

“It’s not half-assed,” I say evenly. “It will work. You’re being emotional.”

He stares at me with wild eyes—my old Red eyes—and realization dawns in them. “Well, slag me sideways. You really are drunk on your own myth, aren’t you? I didn’t buy it when Clown said it. But you believe them all. You think you’re a god. You can’t die.”

“Someone has to end this. You can be a father on your own time. Right now, you need to sack up and do your job.”

“We shouldn’t be here.”

“All right, what do you have in mind instead? Run back to Luna with our tails between our legs? Turn ourselves in to the Wardens and watch as the Republic gets gutted by Vox Populi, then carved up by the Ash Lord and the Rim, whenever they decide to stop playing possum? That’ll mean we broke out a gang of mass murderers for nothing. That means Wulfgar died for nothing. My voice loses its composure. That means we’ve fought ten years for nothing. And then what do you think happens when the Rim comes?”

“This plan is wasted,” he says. “We should cut our losses. Go to Mercury with the fleet if we can’t go home. I don’t want to die for this fucker.”

“I’ve heard your opinion,” I say, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. “Thank you for giving it, Imperator. I’ve considered what you’ve said and I’ve decided the mission is still a go. I want the men fed and the starShells loaded onto the assault shuttle by 16:00. Make sure they stay out of sight. Last thing we need is his legionnaires knowing who they’re fighting with.”

I wait for him to curse me, maybe hit me. His own fear of not seeing his girls again is making him irrational, a coward even. But he just stares at me and then slowly raises his fist.

“Hail Reaper.” He turns on a heel.

“Sevro,” I say before he reaches the door, the memory of Roque’s departure echoing. He stands there facing the wood. Looking at the back of my friend’s scarred head, I feel the distance between us. “I’m sorry you don’t agree with me. But I’ve told you everything I know. And I believe we have the initiative and the means to destroy their command structure.”

He nods. “Course you do.” He chews his lip. “After this, I’m done. I won’t be like you. Won’t be like my pops.” He looks at me, his eyes protective and spiteful. “My girls will have a da. If that’s selfish, I don’t give a shit. Let someone else be Ares.”

He leaves.

His words play at my doubts, but I don’t have time or room for reflection today. I look over at Thraxa. “You have an opinion?”