He staggered upright and looked set to challenge her, but his resolve crumbled, and he sat back down again with a bump. Shona glared at him, her lips white with anger, until he fell forward onto the table, head in hands. ‘You don’t need to say it. It’s my fault. Becca is my fault.’ He sobbed. ‘Jesus, she could have been killed.’
Shona took a deep breath, fighting to calm herself, and pulled out the chair opposite him. ‘Look,’ she said, ‘you didn’t hit Becca, an unknown driver did.’ She reached across and took his hand. It was a natural urge, to blame yourself, to believe you could have saved a loved one from harm. Some people focused on an unlucky misstep, arriving late or a missed phone call, convinced this had precipitated the catastrophe. It was rarely true. Life and death were more random than most people were prepared to accept. She realised she’d fallen victim to this herself, blaming Rob for letting Becca ride up to the farm for eggs, a journey of a mile or so that she’d done multiple times. But he wasn’t off the hook completely.
‘I do hold you responsible for being out of contact. Why didn’t you answer your phone? You must have seen all the missed calls from Becca and me, but you just sat in the Royal Arms drinking with Sandy.’
‘I wasn’t in the pub with Sandy,’ he said quietly, wiping his eyes. ‘I’d only been there a minute when Murdo came in.’
‘Then where were you?’ Becca had been in ho
spital for three days and this was the first he’d mentioned it. She sensed a shifting, a realignment. Was he having an affair? She searched for a likely candidate and realised she knew very little about the people he worked and socialised with. Was there someone he’d mentioned? A name dropped frequently into conversation? She was a detective, this would not have got by her. But even as the thought formed, she knew it wasn’t true. Anyone can be deceived if they’re told a convincing enough lie.
Rob looked up at her, his tanned and handsome face a picture of misery. ‘Shona, I couldn’t help myself.’
Shona let go of his hand and folded her arms, hugging them tight against her ribs and looked down, avoiding his eyes. She felt the surge of anger returning and fought to control it. Now, the axe would fall, and she knew that even if he confessed and swore regret, this would be the end of their marriage. They’d survived many upsets; Shona’s brush with depression after Becca was born, Rob being made redundant from the bank, the turmoil of Becca’s expulsion from school in London, adjusting to this new life in Scotland. But all that was possible because they shared a fundamental trust in each other. An affair would shatter that.
He reached across for her hand, but she remained leaning back in her chair. ‘Shona, I’m sorry.’ He paused taking a deep breath. ‘I was in the casino in Dumfries. I owe money. The car with the darkened windows? I think they were looking for me. What if they did this as a warning?’
Shona shook her head, trying to pin down the thoughts racing around her brain. Not an affair. ‘What? No, the car wasn’t local. It was passing through. False plates.’ She stared at him. His expression wasn’t one of guilt or remorse. It was fear. ‘How much do you owe?’
‘The debts have been building up for a while. But since that STAC night a couple of weeks back, seeing how successful my university pals were, I wanted that,’ he said desperately. ‘When I went back to see them, I tried to make back my losses and things just spiralled out of control. We went to the casino, Kenny Hanlon was there, he said he was interested in my restaurant idea.’
‘All your redundancy money from Milton McConnell went into this place, we haven’t got the cash to expand.’
‘Don’t call it that.’ His voice was rising now. ‘It wasn’t redundancy.’
Shona looked at him, horrified. ‘But…’
‘I was sacked!’ he shouted, getting up and staggering towards the sink. She thought he might be sick but instead he turned to her. ‘The money was a pay-off to go quietly. Happy now? You’ve finally got it out of me.’
‘You,’ Shona stood up and pointed an accusing finger at him, ‘you promised, you swore on our daughter’s life you wouldn’t gamble. Now this? What did you do, Rob?’ She gripped the back of her chair and stood where she was. If she got any closer the urge to shake the truth out of him would be overwhelming.
Rob ran the tap and splashed water on his face. ‘The bank was co-mingling legitimate transactions of a pharmaceuticals company with fake client accounts. Used it to buy gold. Smuggled it out of the country. Untraceable.’
‘Money laundering?’ For a moment she was almost speechless. Her Rob was smart, he had more sense. ‘You knew about this and said nothing? Don’t you understand? You could have helped fund the drugs trade, or terrorism.’
‘They set me up. I signed off some of the transactions my team worked on before I realised what was going on. It was too late. I was in it up to my neck. I didn’t know what to do.’ He crossed back to the table and sat down, the cold water and the gravity of his situation having a rapidly sobering effect. ‘I wanted to go to the police, but I kept it quiet for your sake. You and Becca.’
‘My sake?’ Shona scoffed. ‘Don’t make this about me.’
‘But it is about you. You and Becca, that’s all it’s ever been about,’ he said desperately. ‘I’d lost my job, I didn’t want to lose my family. Threats were made. You were with the City of London Police. Do you think they couldn’t have falsified a bribe? Ended your career? We’re talking millions here. Don’t you think they had a few cops in their pocket? They’d have destroyed us both.’
Shona was shaking with anger. She felt utterly betrayed. She looked at Rob, unsure if she could even trust what he was saying.
She’d come from nothing; no money, no parents, no prospects, but she’d made something of herself. Rob had had everything; a private education, family money, good looks and natural charm, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from throwing it all away.
‘The gambling? How much?’ she said flatly.
‘The cards are maxed out, savings account’s empty.’ Rob chewed his lip and watched her expression closely.
‘The money for Becca’s future?’
His face twisted. ‘I’ll pay it back. Just need to sort alternative funds.’
‘How?’ she shouted. ‘How could you do this? Just when we were getting back on track.’ Her hands flew to her hair and she stopped dead. ‘The house? What about this house?’
‘It’s safe, it’s okay,’ he said, eager to placate her. ‘Joint names, couldn’t extend the mortgage without your signature.’
‘Oh, so you tried, did you?’ She advanced on him stabbing a finger in his chest. ‘You’d have us homeless, on top of everything else. What do you owe? Fifty, sixty grand? More?’