Home Again

No smile curved his lips. “Not silly. You said, ‘Let’s leave them here. That way a part of us will always exist under this old tree. When we’re old, we can come back here with our grandchildren.’”

“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “That’s exactly what I said.”

“I tried to forget, Mad. I ran and ran until there was nowhere left to go. A lot of the time I did forget, but the words were always back there, buried inside me.” He took her hand in his and placed the cheap, filthy jewels in it. “I never forgot you. I know that doesn’t make everything all right, but I never forgot…”

She wanted to say I love you right then, wanted to say it so badly, the words burned in her throat. “I never forgot you, either.”

It wasn’t the right thing to say, but it was all the courage she had. This moment meant too much; she couldn’t jeopardize it with words he wasn’t ready to hear.

“Let’s go on the Ferris wheel,” he said.

She smiled at him and nodded. He pulled her to her feet and held her close. Together, clinging to each other like teenagers in love, they strolled down the midway. Halfway there, she bought a huge puff of cotton candy and pulled off a winding, sticky strip.

He stopped in front of the Ferris wheel, shaking his head at her. “I can’t believe you’re going to eat that stuff in front of a heart patient.”

“You never did like it.”

Surprise darted across his eyes, and then he smiled. “I forgot how well you knew me.”

She pulled off another piece and popped it in her mouth.

He pulled out the bandana and wiped the sticky smear off of her nose. “You should have had stuff like that as a kid,” he said.

She tried to laugh, but it wasn’t funny and they both knew it.

“Come on.” He took her hand and led her onto the Ferris wheel. The ride operator—a young girl with bleached hair and a pierced nostril stared at Angel in obvious awe.

“M-Mr. DeMarco,” she said, “are you the one who rented us for the night?”

He nodded. “Give us a long ride, willya, darlin’?” He dragged Madelaine onto the wide, black-vinyl-covered seat and clicked the safety bar in place. Then he gave the girl a thumbs-up. The ride began with a whining, mechanical groan, and they were pulled away from the ramp.

Madelaine leaned back and stared up at the night sky. The seat swayed and rocked and lifted them higher and higher into the darkness, until stars were all around them, close enough to touch, and the midway was a faraway haze of yellow and white light.

Angel draped an arm around her shoulders and drew her close to him. In the distance they could hear the rollicking calliope of the merry-go-round and the mechanical whoosh of the Round-up.

But up here, tangled in the blanket of stars and touched by the light of a half-moon, the carnival seemed a million miles away.

Angel twisted around to face her. “Mad…”

There was something in his tone of voice that frightened her—he sounded so serious. She was suddenly afraid that this was it, that he’d done all this just to say good-bye. Maybe he wanted to do it right this time. Now he had a daughter to think of—he didn’t want to roar out of town on a Harley.

“Don’t say anything,” she whispered, gazing into his eyes, knowing in that instant that she’d never be able to forget him this time, never be able to get over him. If he was going to leave, she’d rather he just did it, just picked up his stuff and ran. She couldn’t take a good-bye.

“I wanted to thank you for saving my life.”

Her breath escaped in a rush of relief. She was so thankful for what he hadn’t said that it took her a second to realize what he had said. “Thank you for saving your life?” She swallowed hard. “Is that what this is about, Angel? Thanking your cardiologist?” The words tasted bitter.

He smiled softly. “No. I don’t mean thank you for saving my physical body—although I do appreciate it.” He leaned toward her and touched her cheek, giving her a tender smile. “I mean, thank you for saving my life. Without you in these past few weeks, I couldn’t have found the strength to go on. I think I would have drunk myself sick and run away. But you… and Lina, you gave me another way.”

She didn’t know what to say.

“That’s my Mad,” he said, laughing, tugging a strand of hair from her lip. “I’m going to kiss you now, Mad. If you’ve got a problem with that…” Smiling, he leaned toward her.

She stared at him, mesmerized by the yearning she saw in his eyes. The desire to kiss and be kissed by him was irresistible, and before she knew it, she was leaning toward him.

He took her face in his hands and tunneled his fingers through her tangled hair, tilting her face up. Slowly he kissed her.

His mouth fit hers perfectly, just as it had so many years ago. It started out soft and gentle, that first kiss after so many lost and lonely years. She clung to him, kissing him with everything in her, as if she could draw that essential spark of him into her very soul, as if she could have some piece of him to take away from this magical ride.