Comfort & Joy

“Where’s Dora?” she asks.

“Come on, Mom. Your granddaughters are here. ” The man tucks her into his side and leads her toward the table.

The nurse beside me shakes her head, makes a tsking sound. “Poor Mrs. Gardiner. ”

Another nurse joins us, stands beside me. “She spends all day waiting for her sister. ”

“It’s sad. Dora’s been gone almost fifteen years. ”

I ease away from them and head toward the buffet line to help, but volunteers already stand shoulder to shoulder behind the food.

There’s no room for me.

I will do dishes, I guess. I look around for Bobby, but don’t see him. From my place in the doorway, I try to get Daniel’s attention and fail. He’s deep in conversation with an elderly man who seems to want a mountain of hash browns.

I go out into the now-quiet halls. “Bobby?”

When there is no answer, I go in search.

I find him in the recreation room, alone, playing with his action figures. I hear his sound effects before I enter the room.

“Hey, kiddo. What’cha doing?”

He barely looks up at me. “I’m too little. ”

I sit down on the plaid sofa behind him. “That won’t be true for long. ”

He sits back on his heels. The action figures fall to the side, forgotten. “Mommy never said I was too little. She always let me hand out napkins and stuff. ”

“Come here, Bobby. ” I pat the seat beside me. He jumps up to the sofa and snuggles in close. “Did you tell your dad you wanted to help?”

He shakes his head, looking miserable.

“You have to tell people how you feel . . . ”

“I’m sorry,” Stacey said.

The memory shakes me. Suddenly I have a pounding headache.

I should have listened to her . . .

“. . . and give them a chance. ”

“It’s hard,” Bobby says.

“You’ll get no argument from me on that one, kiddo. ” Later, when I call my sister, it will be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.

Daniel walks in. “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. ”

I smile at him over Bobby’s head. “He was disappointed that he was too little to help serve. ”

Bobby looks at me for encouragement. At my nod, he turns back to his dad and says quietly, “Mommy always let me help. ”

“I’m sorry, Bobby. I guess I’m sorta learnin’ the ropes on this dad thing. ”

“That’s what Joy said. ”

Daniel seems surprised by that. “She’s a smart woman, your Joy. And now, boyo, it’s time for church. ”