The Great Alone

Mr. Walker nodded. “He’d want you there, I think.”

“Oh, Tom,” Mama said. “I don’t know. She’s hurt, and it will be too much for her to see.”

“No looking away, Mama,” Leni said, and climbed out of bed.

Mr. Walker took her arm, steadied her.

Leni looked at him. “I’m the reason he’s hurt. He tried to save me. It’s my fault.”

“He couldn’t do anything else, Leni. Not after what happened to his mom. I know my son. Even if he’d known the price, he would have tried to rescue you.”

Leni wished that made her feel better, but it didn’t.

“He loves you, Leni. I’m glad he found that.”

He was already talking as if Matthew were gone.

She let Mr. Walker lead her out of the room and down the hall. She felt her mother behind her; every now and then she would reach out, brush her fingertips against the small of Leni’s back.

They entered Matthew’s room. Alyeska was already there, with her back to the wall. “Hey, Len,” Alyeska said.

Len.

Just like her brother.

Alyeska hugged Leni. They didn’t know each other well, but tragedy created a kind of family relationship between them. “He would have tried to save you no matter what. It’s who he is.”

Leni couldn’t answer.

The door opened and three people came into the room, dragging equipment with them. In the lead was a man in a white coat; behind him were two nurses in orange scrubs.

“You’ll need to stand over there,” the doctor said to Leni and Mama. “Except for you, Dad. You come stand by the bed.”

Leni moved to the wall, stood with her back pressed to it. There was barely any distance between her and Alyeska, but it seemed like an ocean; on one shore, the sister who loved him, on the other, the girl who’d been the cause of his fall. Alyeska reached over and held Leni’s hand.

The medical team moved efficiently around Matthew’s bed, nodding and talking to one another, taking notes, checking machines, recording vital signs.

Then the doctor said, “Okay?”

Mr. Walker leaned down and whispered something to Matthew and kissed his bandaged forehead, murmured words Leni couldn’t hear. When he drew back, he was crying. He turned to the doctor and nodded.

Slowly, the tube was pulled out of Matthew’s mouth.

An alarm sounded.

Leni heard Alyeska say, “Come on, Mattie. You can do it.” She pulled away from the wall, stepped forward, brought Leni with her.

And Mr. Walker: “You’re a tough kid. Fight.”

An alarm sounded.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The nurses exchanged a knowing look.

Leni knew she shouldn’t speak, but there was no way to hold back. “Don’t leave us, Matthew … please…”

Mr. Walker gave Leni a terrible, agonized look.