There was a pause. “So soon?”
“Yeah. ”
“Are you sure? You can never get this time back. ”
“Believe me, Sylvie, the last thing I want is this time back. ”
“All right. Let me do some checking. I know I need someone in Sierra Leone. ”
“A war zone sounds perfect,” Nina said.
“You have serious issues, you know that, right?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I know. ”
They talked for a few more minutes and Nina hung up. Feeling better—and worse—she went downstairs and found Meredith in the kitchen, doing the dishes. Of course.
Nina reached for a towel. “I was going to do that, you know. ”
“These are lunch and dinner dishes from yesterday, Nina. When exactly were you going to wash them?”
“Whoa, slow down. It’s dishes, not—”
“People dying of hunger. I know. I get it. You do things that matter. Me, I just run the family business and take care of our parents and clean up after my important sister. ”
“I didn’t mean that. ”
Meredith turned to her. “Of course not. ”
Nina felt impaled by that look, as if all her faults had just been laid bare. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“No. Not really. ” Meredith reached for the cleanser and began scrubbing the white porcelain sink.
Nina moved toward her sister. “I’m sorry,” was all she could think to say.
Meredith turned to face her again. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, leaving a soapy trail behind. “How long are you staying?”
“Not long. The situation in Sierra Leone—”
“Spare me. You’re running away. ” Meredith finally almost smiled. “Hell, I’d do the same thing if I could. ”
Nina felt as bad about herself as she ever had. She was running—from her ice-cold mother, from this too-empty house, from her brittle, competent sister, and from the memories that lived here. Perhaps those most of all. She cared about what her selfishness would cost her sister, and about the promise to her father she was ignoring, but God help her, she didn’t care enough to stay. “What about his ashes?”
“She wants to scatter them on his birthday in May. When the ground isn’t frozen. ”
“I’ll come back for that. ”
“Twice in one year?” Meredith said.
Nina looked at her. “It’s some year. ”
For a moment, it looked like Meredith might crumble, just let go and cry, and Nina felt the start of her own tears.
Then Meredith said, “Be sure and say good-bye to the girls. You know how much they idolize you. ”
“I will. ”
Meredith nodded curtly and wiped her eyes. “I have to be back at work in an hour. I’ll vacuum before I go. ”