To Tullys complete horror, she started to cry.
Kate stood there a moment, staring at her from behind those dork-o-rama glasses. Then, without saying anything, she hugged Tully.
Tully flinched at the contact; it was foreign and unexpected. She started to pull away, but found that she couldnt move. She couldnt remember the last time someone had held her like this, and suddenly she was clinging to this weirdo girl, afraid to let go, afraid that without Kate, shed float away like the S. S. Minnow and be lost at sea.
"Im sure shell get better," Kate said when Tullys tears subsided.
Tully drew back, frowning. It took her a second to understand.
The cancer. Kate thought she was worried about her mom.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate said, taking out her retainer, putting it on the mossy top of a fence post.
Tully stared at her. In the silvery light from a full moon, she saw nothing but compassion in Kates magnified green eyes, and she wanted to talk, wanted it with a fierceness that made her feel sick. But she didnt know how to start.
Kate said, "Come on," and led her up the hill to the slanted front porch of the farmhouse. There, she sat down, pulling her threadbare T-shirt over her bent knees. "My Aunt Georgia had cancer," she said. "It was grody. Lost all her hair. But shes fine now. "
Tully sat down beside her, put her purse on the ground. The smell of vomit was strong. She pulled out a cigarette and lit up to cover the stench. Before she knew it, shed said, "I went to a party down by the river tonight. "
"A high school party?" Kate sounded impressed.
"Pat Richmond asked me out. "
"The quarterback? Wow. My mom wouldnt let me stand in the same checkout line as a high school senior. Shes so lame. "
"Shes not lame. "
"She thinks eighteen-year-old boys are dangerous. She calls them penises with hands and feet. Tell me that isnt lame. "
Tully glanced out over the field and took a deep, steadying breath. She couldnt believe she was going to tell this girl what happened tonight, but the truth was a fire inside her. If she didnt get rid of it, shed burn up. "He raped me. "
Kate turned to her. Tully felt those green eyes boring into her profile, but she didnt move, didnt turn. Her shame was so overwhelming that she couldnt stand to see it reflected in Kates eyes. She waited for Kate to say something, to call her an idiot, but the silence just went on and on. Finally, she couldnt take it anymore. She looked sideways.
"Are you okay?" Kate asked quietly.
Tully relived it all in those few words. Tears stung her eyes, blurred her vision.
Once again, Kate hugged her. Tully let herself be comforted for the first time since she was little. When she finally drew back, she tried to smile. "Im drowning you. "
"We should tell someone. "
"No way. Theyd say it was my fault. This is our secret, okay?"
"Okay. " Kate frowned as she said it.
Tully wiped her eyes and took another drag on her cigarette. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"You looked lonely. Believe me, I know how that feels. "
"You do? But you have a family. "
"They have to like me. " Kate sighed. "The kids at school treat me like Ive got an infectious disease. I used to have friends, but . . . you probably dont know what in the heck Im talking about. Youre so popular. "
"Popular just means lots of people think they know you. "
"Id take that. "
Silence fell between them. Tully finished her cigarette and put it out. They were so different, she and Kate, as full of contrasts as this dark field bathed in moonlight, but it felt so completely easy to talk to her. Tully found herself almost smiling, and on this, the worst night of her life. That was something.