Firefly Lane (Firefly Lane 1)

"No buts. Its important to me to be a good mother. You, of all people, should understand how much it matters to a kid. "

Tully sat back down. They both knew there was nothing she could really say to that. Tully still bore the scars of a bad mother. "Women can do both, you know. This isnt the fifties. "

"My mom went on every field trip I ever took. She was a helper in the classroom every year until I begged her to please stop coming. I didnt take the bus until I was in junior high and still remember talking to my mom on the ride home after school. I want my child to have all that. I can always go back to work later. "

"And you think that will be enough for you—carpools and field trips and classroom-volunteering?"

"If its not, Ill find something else. Come on, its not like Im an astronaut. " She smiled. "So, tell me about your job. Ill live vicariously through you, so make the stories good. "

Tully immediately launched into a hilarious story about her most recent assignment.

Kate leaned back and closed her eyes, listening.

"Kate? Kate?"

She was so lost in her thoughts it took her a moment to realize that Tully was talking to her. She laughed. "Sorry about that. What were you saying?"

"You fell asleep on me. I was telling you about this guy who asked me out and when I looked over, you were out like a light. "

"I was not," Kate said quickly, but the truth was that she did feel drowsy, kind of light-headed, too. "I think I need a cup of tea. " She stood up and swayed precariously, reaching out for the back of the couch. "Wow, that was—" In the middle of her sentence, she looked at Tully and frowned. "Tully?"

Tully got to her feet so quickly, she knocked over her margarita. She put an arm around Kate, steadying her. "Im right here. "

Something was wrong; a wave of dizziness struck her so hard and suddenly that she stumbled.

"Hold on, honey," Tully said, moving her gently toward the door. "We need to get to a phone. "

A phone? Kate shook her head in confusion; her vision blurred. "I dont know whats happening," she mumbled. "Is this a surprise party for me? Is it my birthday?"

Then she looked down at the sofa where shed been sitting.

A dark pool of blood stained the cushion and splattered the decking at her feet. "Oh, no," she whispered, touching her stomach. She wanted to say more, pray to God to for help, but while she was grasping for words, the world tilted sickeningly and she passed out.

Tully forced them to let her stay in the ambulance. She sat by Kate, saying, "Im right here," over and over.

Kate was conscious, but barely so. Her skin was as pale as an old overwashed sheet; even her green eyes, usually so bright, were dull and glassy. Tears leaked down her temples.

The ambulance pulled up to the hospital. Tully was pushed aside in their haste to get Kate out of the van and into the bright lights of the hospital. She stood there in the open doorway, watching them take her best friend away. Suddenly she felt the full impact of what was happening.

Women having miscarriages could bleed to death.

"Please, God," she said, wishing for the first time in her life that she really knew how to pray, "dont let me lose her. "

She knew it was the wrong prayer, not the one Kate would have wanted. "And take care of her baby. "

It felt like throwing diamonds into a river, praying to this God that had never listened to her. "Katie goes to church every Sunday," she reminded Him, just in case.

In the small green hospital room that overlooked the parking lot, Kate lay sleeping. Beside her Mrs. M. sat in a molded plastic chair reading a paperback novel. As always, she moved her lips as she read.

Tully came up beside her, touched her shoulder. "I brought you some coffee. " She let her hand rest on Mrs. M. s shoulder. It had been almost two hours since Kate lost the baby and although Johnny had been called, he was on assignment in Spokane, on the other side of the state.

"I guess its a blessing it happened early," Tully said.

"Four months isnt early, Tully," Mrs. Mularkey said quietly. "And people who havent had a miscarriage always say that. It was what Bud said to me. Twice. " She looked up. "It never felt like much of a blessing to me. It felt like losing someone I loved. You know about that, dont you?"

"Thanks," she said, squeezing Mrs. Mularkeys shoulder, and then moving closer to the bed. "Now I know what not to say. I just wish I knew what would help. "

Kate opened her eyes and saw them.