When it was finally time for dinner, Kate took her place at the head table, with Johnny on one side of her and the president of Syndiworld on the other. Tully held court all through the meal. There was no other way to describe it. She was lively, animated, funny; every person seated around her—especially Marah—seemed awestruck.
Kate tried not to let any of it get to her. A few times she even tried to get her daughters attention, but it was impossible to compete with Tully.
Finally, she couldnt stand it anymore. She made an excuse to Johnny and headed for the bathroom. In line, every woman there seemed to be talking about Tully, remarking on how gorgeous she looked.
"And did you see the girl shes with—"
"I think its her daughter. "
"No wonder they look so close. "
"I wish my daughter treated me like that. "
"So do I," Kate murmured too quietly to be heard. She stared at herself in the mirror, seeing a woman whod done her best to look beautiful for her husband and daughter, only to fade into the wallpaper beside her best friend. She knew it was ridiculous to feel so hurt and excluded. It wasnt her night, after all. Still . . . shed had such high hopes.
That was her mistake.
Shed pinned her happiness to a teenage girls chest. Idiot. The realization made her almost smile. She certainly knew better than that. Feeling better, more in control of her silly emotions, she headed back to the party.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Tully shouldnt have drunk so much. She stood on the stage, holding Johnnys hand to keep herself steady. "Thank you all," she said, flashing her smile to the crowd. "The Girlfriend Hour is so successful because of you. " She lifted a glass to everyone, and they answered with applause. It occurred to her in a burst that her sentence hadnt been quite right, had maybe made no sense, but since she couldnt remember what shed said, it was hard to tell.
She turned to Johnny, put her arm around him. "Its our turn to dance. "
The band started up; they were playing a slow song. Tully took his hand and led him out to the dance floor. She was still laughing when she recognized the song: "Crazy for You. "
Touch me once and youll know its true.
It was the song he and Kate had first danced to at their wedding.
Tully tilted her head and looked up at him; suddenly she was remembering what she shouldnt remember: the last time shed danced in his arms. The song had been "Didnt We Almost Have it All?" and when the dance was over, hed kissed her. If shed chosen differently back then, reached for love instead of fame, maybe he would have loved her, given her Marah and a home.
In the pale golden light from the old-fashioned chandelier, he looked as handsome as shed ever seen him. He had the kind of dark Irish looks that only improved with age. Somehow the way he looked at her, so seriously, reminded her of the old days, when hed been just a little broken by life, and shed made him laugh for that one romantic night.
"You always were a good dancer," she said, and as she said it, she felt a little flare of caution go up. She was drunk; she needed to draw away, but it felt so good to be in a mans arms, and it wasnt like anything would happen.
He twirled her easily around and pulled her close again.
The crowd clapped in approval.
"I shouldnt have had so much champagne. I cant follow your lead. "
"Following has never been your strong suit. "
And with those few words, she remembered all of it again, the details. Memories came crashing through the walls shed built to contain them. She stopped and looked up at him. "What happened to us?"
"Was there ever an us, Tully, really?" he asked quietly. The way he said it, so easily, so quickly, made her wonder if hed been wanting to ask the question for years. She couldnt tell if his smile was rueful or indulgent; all she knew was that they were no longer dancing, but he hadnt let her go.
"I wouldnt let there be. "
"Kate thinks I never got over you. "
Tully knew that, had always known it. Without ever actually talking about their shared past with Johnny, she and Kate had tucked it away in the name of friendship. There in the dark was where it should remain, but as always with Tully, booze and loneliness weakened her, and so, despite her best intentions, she found herself asking, "Did you?"
By the time Kate returned to the party, the band had begun to play.
"Crazy for You. "