Tully sat up sharply and hit the rewind button.
"Hey, Tul. Its me. Kate. I cant believe you havent called to apologize to me. "
A loud Click. Then: "Tully? Are you listening to this? Tully?" and then another click followed by a loud busy signal. Kate had hung up.
That was all there was. It was over. There were no more messages on the machine.
Tully felt a disappointment so sharp it actually made her flinch. She played and replayed the message until all she could hear was the accusation in Kates voice.
That wasnt the Kate she remembered, the girl whod promised all those years ago to be friends forever. That girl would never have called to taunt Tully like this, to berate her and then hang up.
I cant believe you havent called to apologize to me.
Tully stood up, trying to distance herself from this voice that had invaded her home, tricked her into hoping. She hit the erase all button and backed away.
"I cant believe you havent called me," she said to her empty apartment, trying not to notice how thick her voice sounded.
She went to her purse and burrowed through the mess inside for her cell phone. Finding it, she scrolled through her huge contact list for a name shed added only a few months ago, and hit send.
When Thomas answered, she tried to sound flirty and light, but it was hard to pretend; a weight seemed to be sitting on her chest, making it hard to breathe. "Hey, Tom I just got back from the icy beyond. What are you doing tonight? Nothing? Thats great. How about getting together?"
It was pathetic how desperate she suddenly felt. But she couldnt be alone tonight, couldnt even sleep in her own apartment.
"Ill meet you at Kells. Say, nine-thirty?"
Before he even said, "Its a date," she was on her way.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Two thousand six saw The Girlfriend Hour rise even higher in the ratings. Week after week, month after month, Tully created magic with her selection of guests and her rapport with the audience. She had definitely reached the top of her game and seized control of the board. No longer did she let herself think about what she didnt have in her life. Just as shed done at six and ten and fourteen, she boxed all that negative stuff up and put it in the shadow box.
She went on. It was what shed always done in her life when disappointment set in. She tucked her chin, squared her shoulders, and set a new goal for herself. This year, she was starting a magazine. Next year it would be a retreat for women. After that, who knew?
Now she sat in her newly decorated office in a corner of the building that didnt face Bainbridge Island, talking to her secretary on the phone. "Are you kidding me? Hes canceling the show, forty minutes before were scheduled to start taping? I have a studio full of people waiting to see him. " She slammed the phone back onto the hook, then hit the intercom. "Get Ted in here. "
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and her producer walked into her office. His cheeks were pink from exertion and he was breathing hard. "You wanted to see me?"
"Jack just canceled. "
"Now?" Ted glanced at his watch. "Son of a bitch. I hope you told him the next time he has a movie out he can pitch it on the radio. "
Tully flipped open her calendar. "Its June first, right? Call Nordstrom and the Gene Juarez Spa. Well do mothers makeovers for summer. Give away a bunch of clothes and stuff. Itll suck, but its better than nothing. "
From the moment Ted left her office, the whole team was in high gear. People were tracking down new guests, calling the various spa and department store contacts, and keeping the studio audience entertained. The adrenaline was so high that everyone, including Tully, worked at supersonic speed, and the taping of the new segment began only one hour late. Judging by the audiences applause, it was a rousing success.
After the show, as always, Tully stayed around and talked with her fans. She posed for photographs and signed autographs and listened to one story after another about how shed changed someones life. It was her favorite hour of any day.
She had just returned to her office when her intercom buzzed. "Tallulah? Theres a Kate Ryan on line one. "
Tullys heart missed a beat; the hope she felt pissed her off. She stood at the corner of her huge desk and pushed the intercom button. "Ask her what she wants. "
A moment later, her secretary was back on the line. "Ms. Ryan says you need to pick up the phone and find out for yourself. "
"Tell her to go fuck herself. " Tully wished she could take the words back as soon as shed said them, but she didnt know how to bend now. During their long estrangement, shed had to stay angry just to get by. Otherwise the loneliness would have been unbearable.
"Ms. Ryan says, and I quote: Tell that bitch to get her designer-clad ass out of her ridiculously expensive leather chair and come to the phone. She also says that if you ignore her on this of all days shes selling those pictures of you with a bad perm to the tabloids. "
Tully almost smiled. How could two sentences peel back so many years and blast through the sediment of so many bad choices?