The Things We Do for Love

Ordinarily she loved it when they went ice-skating. She glanced down at her pile of clothes. Her coats raggedness made her wince, and she knew there were holes in her socks. "I cant go today. I need to find a job. "

"On Saturday?"

She looked up at him. Just then, it felt as if so much more than a few feet of floor separated them. "I know it sucks, but what can I do?"

David moved toward her. "How much?"

"How much what?"

"Your rent. How behind is she?"

Lauren felt her cheeks flush. "I never said--"

"You never do. Im not stupid, Lo. How much do you owe?"

She wished the ground would open up and swallow her. "Two hundred. But Monday is the first. "

"Two hundred. Thats what I paid for my steering wheel and shift knob. "

She didnt know what to say to that. For him, that amount of money was pocket change. She broke eye contact and bent down for her clothes.

"Let me--"

"No," she said, not daring to look at him. Tears burned her eyes. Her shame was almost overwhelming. It shouldnt be, she knew. He loved her; he told her that all the time, but still.

"Why not?"

She slowly straightened. Finally looked at him. "All my life," she said, "Ive watched my mom take money from men. It starts out as nothing. Beer or cigarette money. Then fifty bucks for a new dress or one hundred to pay the electric bill. It . . . changes things, that money. "

"Im not like those guys and you know it. "

"I need us to be different. Dont you see?"

He touched her face so gently she wanted to cry. "I see that you wont let me help you. "

How could she explain it to him, that helping her would be a river that would suck them under? "Just love me," she whispered, putting her arms around him and holding on tightly.

He pulled her off her feet, kissed her until she was dizzy and smiling again.

"Were going skating and thats it. "

She wanted to, wanted to lose herself in the coldness, going around and around with nothing to keep her grounded except Davids warm hand. "All right. But I dont have enough clothes. Ill have to stop at home. " She couldnt help smiling. It felt good to give in, to take the day off from her troubles.

He took her hand and led her out of his bedroom and down the hallway toward his parents bedroom.

"David, what are you doing?" She followed him, frowning.

He opened the door and went to the closet, opening that door as well. A light automatically came on.

The closet was bigger than Laurens living room.

"Her coats are back there. Pick one. "

Lauren moved woodenly forward until she was standing in front of Mrs. Hayness coats. There were at least one dozen of them. Leather. Cashmere. Wool. Suede. Not one showed the slightest sign of wear.

"Pick one and lets go. "

Lauren couldnt seem to move. Her heart was beating too quickly; it made her slightly breathless. She felt vulnerable suddenly, laid bare by her neediness. She backed away, turned to David. If he noticed how bright her eyes were or how brittle her smile, he gave no indication. "I just remembered. I did bring my coat. Ill be fine. "