The Things We Do for Love

They spoke at exactly the same time, then laughed awkwardly and fell to silence again. She waited for him to speak but he didnt. "I was just going to put up the tree. "

"I can see that. "

"Do you have a tree this year?"

"No. "

At the look on his face, so sad, she wished she hadnt asked. "I dont suppose you want to help me carry it inside?"

"I think Id rather watch you wrestle with it. "

"Youre six foot two; Im five foot six. Get the tree inside. "

He laughed, then bent down and picked up the tree.

She raced ahead to open the door for him.

Together, they put the tree in the stand.

"A little to the left," she said, pushing the tree to a straighter position.

He grunted and went back under the tree again.

She battled a sudden bout of sadness. Memories came at her hard. As soon as the tree was upright and locked into place in the stand, she said, "Ill get us some wine," and ran for the kitchen.

When she was out of the room, she let her breath out in a rush.

It hurt just looking at him.

She poured two glasses of red wine--his favorite-- and went back into the living room. He stood by the fireplace, staring at her. In his black sweater and faded Levis, with his black hair that needed to be cut, he looked more like an aging rock star than an ace reporter.

"So," he said after shed given him the wine and sat down on the sofa, "I could tell you I was out this way on a story and just stopped by. "

"I could tell you I dont care why youre here. "

They sat on opposite sides of the room, making cautious conversation, talking about nothing. Angie was finishing her third glass of wine by the time he got around to asking a question that mattered.

"Why did you come by the office?"

There were so many ways to answer that. The question was: How far out on the ledge did she want to go? Shed spent a lot of years telling Conlan half-truths. Shed started out protecting him from bad news, but deceit was an icy road that spun you around. Shed ended up protecting herself. The more her heart had been broken, the more shed turned inward. Until

one day, shed realized that she was alone. "I missed you," she said at last.

"What does that mean?"

"Did you miss me?"

"I cant believe you can ask me that. "

She got up, moved toward him. "Did you?"

She knelt in front of him. Their faces were so close she could see herself in his blue eyes. Shed forgotten how that felt, to see herself in him. "It made me crazy," she said, echoing the words shed said to him in the nursery all those months ago.

"And youre sane now?"

She felt his breath on her lips; it brought back so many memories. "Sanes such a grown-up word. But Im definitely better. Mostly, Ive accepted it. "

"You scare me, Angie," he said quietly.