"A smart girl would have done things differently," Lauren said. Her eyes filled with tears again, though she was trying to smile. She looked up at David, who nodded down at her encouragingly. Then she looked expectantly at Angie.
For a moment no one spoke.
Angie felt a chill slide down her spine. All at once she was afraid.
Lauren let go of Davids hand and took a step forward. "Take our baby, Angie. "
The air rushed out of her. She felt her lungs shake with the force of it. "Dont," she whispered, using her hands to ward off the words.
Lauren took another step. Closer. She looked so young. So desperate. Tears swam in her eyes. "Please. We want you to adopt our baby. Weve been talking about it all day. Its the only way. "
Angie closed her eyes, barely hearing the tiny, mouselike sound that escaped her lips. She couldnt go back down that dream road. It had almost killed her last time. She couldnt think about filling her empty, empty arms again with . . .
a baby.
She couldnt. She wasnt strong enough.
And yet. How could she possibly walk away from this?
A baby.
She opened her eyes.
Lauren was staring at her. The girls pale, full cheeks were streaked with tears. Her dark eyes were bloodshot and swollen. The letter from USC was right there, a piece of paper that could change lives . . .
"Please," Lauren whispered, starting to cry again.
Angies heart seemed to cave in on itself, leaving her feeling empty inside. Lost. There was no doubt in her mind that she had to say no to this baby. And no way on Gods green earth she could do it.
She couldnt say no. Not to Lauren, and not to herself. But she knew, deep in her slowly crumbling heart, that she was doing the wrong thing, even as she said softly, "Yes. "
"THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU TODAY," Mama said, pushing the glasses higher on her nose.
Angie looked away. "Nonsense. Im fine. "
"You are not fine. Jerrie Carl had to ask you for a table three times before you answered her. "
"And when Mr. Costanza asked for red wine, you handed him the bottle," Mira said, wiping her hands on her apron.
Angie shouldnt have come into the kitchen. Like a pair of hyenas, Mira and Mama sensed distress, and once alerted, they tended to move together, following, waiting.
"Im fine. " She turned and left the kitchen.
Back in the busy dining room, she felt less obvious. She did her best to function. She moved slowly, perhaps, but given her state of mind, any movement at all was a triumph. She smiled blankly and tried to pretend that everything was okay.
The truth was, she couldnt feel much of anything at all. For the past twenty-four hours, shed kept her emotions in a locked box into which she dared not peek.
It was better not to see. She didnt want to look too closely at this Faustian bargain that she and Lauren had struck. It would take them on a terrible journey, this deal; at the end of it there would be broken hearts on the side of the road. Angie felt as if shed sealed herself into a small, dark room.
She went over to the window and stared out at the night. The bustling sounds of the busy restaurant faded behind her until she couldnt hear anything beyond the beating of her heart.
What now?
It was the query that had kept her up all last night; the first thing on her mind this morning.
Her emotions were a tangle of hope and despair. She couldnt find a place from which to begin the unraveling. A part of her kept thinking, A baby, and with it came a swelling in her heart that was almost unbearably sweet, but on the heels of that thought was always the other one, the darker, Lauren wont be able to do it.
Either way, there would be heartbreak. At the end of this road lay a terrible choice: Lauren or the baby. Angie could, at best, have one or the other. At worst, she could lose them both.