Night Road

She would be an idiot to think he really meant for her to meet him at the beach. He was dating Amanda, the human Post-it note. They were the most popular couple in school.

And it would hurt Mia if she found out. A kiss at the dance was one thing, almost understandable even, ordinary. This—sneaking out to be with him—would be something else. A bigger lie.

Lexi couldn’t do it. Shouldn’t do it.

She glanced over at her boss. Don’t do it, Lexi. “Uh, Mrs. Solter? I was wondering if I could leave a few minutes early. Maybe nine-fifty?”

“I’m sure I can handle closing up by myself,” she said. “Hot date?”

Lexi hoped her laughter didn’t sound as nervous as it felt. “When have you ever known me to have a hot date?”

“Those boys at your school must be blind, that’s all I’m saying. ”

For the remainder of her shift, Lexi refused to think about the decision she’d made. She focused on her job and did it to the best of her ability. It wasn’t until later, when she left the shop, that nerves got the best of her.

She was an idiot to do this, but she kept walking.

Main Street was quiet on this chilly autumn night. Lights glowed through restaurant windows, but there were few patrons at this hour.

She passed the brightly lit Island Center grocery store and kept going, past the ferry terminal, past the Windermere Real Estate office and the Lil Ones Nursery School. In less than five minutes, she was out of town. Here, black stained the sky; a bright blue moon glowed above the towering treetops. There weren’t many houses out this way, and the few that were here were mostly summer homes for Seattleites, and their windows were dark.

At the entrance to LaRiviere Beach Park, she paused.

He wouldn’t be here.

Still, she followed the winding asphalt road down to the sandy stretch of beach. Moonlight shone on the tangle of giant driftwood piled up on the coarse gray sand.

There were no cars in the parking area.

Of course there weren’t.

She walked out to the beach. The pile of giant driftwood—whole trees washed up onto the shore and tangled together—lay like giant toothpicks on the sand. A brightly lit ferry chugged through the Sound, looking like a Chinese lantern against the black water. Behind it, the Seattle skyline was a tiara of colored lights.

“You’re here. ”

She heard Zach’s voice and turned. “I didn’t see your car,” was all she could think to say.

“It’s at the end of the other lot. ”

He took her by the hand and led her to a place where he had a blanket spread out on the sand.

“I guess you’ve brought a few girls here,” she said nervously. She needed to remember that. What was special for her was ordinary for him.

He sat down and pulled her gently down beside him. She immediately took her hand back. She couldn’t be smart when he was touching her, and she needed to be smart. This was her best friend’s brother.

He said, “Look at me, Lexi. Please,” and she was helpless to resist. He tucked a curly strand of hair behind her ear. It was the gentlest touch she’d ever felt, and it made her want to cry. “I know we shouldn’t be together. Do you want to be, though?”

“I shouldn’t,” she said quietly. She closed her eyes, unable to look at him. In the darkness, she heard his breath, felt it against her lips, and all she could think about was how often she’d been hurt. Lexi thought about her druggo mom, who’d told her all the time how much she loved her. She’d hold Lexi so tightly Lexi couldn’t breathe, and then suddenly it would be over. Her mom would get pissed and storm off and forget she even had a daughter. The only time Lexi remembered ever being happy before Pine Island was when her mother went to prison. Lexi had been with a nice family then, the Rexlers, and they’d tried to make her feel as if she belonged. Then her mother had come back.

Usually Lexi tried not to remember those last days with her mother, when Momma had been high all the time and pissed off and mean. Lexi had learned the truth about love then, how close it could be to hate, and how it could empty you out.

“Mia’s friendship means everything to me,” she said, finally looking at him. She saw how her words hurt him, and she understood at last. All that hostility of his, all that looking away; it had been an act. “You pretended not to like me because of Mia. ”

“From the start,” he said with a sigh. “I wanted to ask you out, but you were already her friend. So I stayed away … or I tried to. I never could, though, not really. And then, when you tried to kiss me…”

Lexi’s heart felt like taking flight. How was it possible that she could be so happy and so sad at the same time? “We shouldn’t talk about this anymore. We should just forget about it. I couldn’t lose Mia or your family. I couldn’t. I’ve already been hurt enough, you know?”

“You think I haven’t already thought all of that?”