Night Road

“Yeah. Lucky. ”

* * *

Jude could hear Zach crying, and it brought her fresh pain, both because it was happening and because she couldn’t think of how to make him feel better. There was nothing she could do to help him or herself or Mia.

“It’s okay, Zach,” Miles said when the doctor left them.

“It’s my fault, Dad,” Zach said. “How am I supposed to live with that?”

“Mia wouldn’t blame you,” Miles said, and though his words were reasonable, his voice betrayed the depth of his pain. Jude could tell how hard her husband was trying to grieve for one child while comforting the other. She could tell because her struggle was the same.

“I wish I were blind,” Zach said, and for the first time, he sounded like a man. Certain. “I don’t want to go home and see Mia’s room. Or her picture. ”

Just then, Officer Avery walked into the room. He was holding a crumpled-up paper bag in his hands, worrying the rolled crease with his blunt-tipped fingers. “Dr. Farraday? Jude?” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m so sorry to bother you at this difficult time. ” He cleared his throat again. “But I need to ask Zach some questions. ”

“Of course,” Miles asked, stepping closer to the bed. “Zach? Can you answer a few questions?”

“Whatever,” Zach said.

The officer cleared his throat and then stepped awkwardly toward Jude, offering her the paper bag. “Here,” he said. “I’m sorry. ”

She felt as if she were underwater, reaching for something that looked close but was really far away. She was faintly surprised when she felt the rough brown paper. Opening it, she saw a blur of quilted pink—Mia’s purse—and she closed the bag quickly, clutching it in shaking hands.

The policeman stepped back a respectful distance, opened a small notebook. “You are Zachary Farraday?”

“You know I am. You were Officer Friendly in fourth grade. ”

Officer Avery smiled briefly at that. “And it was your white Mustang that was totaled on Night Road last night?”

“It was my car. ”

“And you attended a party at the Kastner house on Saturday night, with your sister and Alexa Baill?”

“And about a hundred other people. ”

“And you were drinking alcohol,” the officer said, consulting a piece of paper. “I have test reports here that show your blood alcohol level at point twenty-eight,” the officer said. “That’s almost four times the legal limit. ”

“Yeah,” Zach said quietly.

I won’t drink and drive, Madre … you know you can trust me? How many times had Jude heard him make that promise?

She closed her eyes, as if darkness offered any refuge from this.

The officer flipped a page. “Do you remember leaving the party?”

“Yeah. It was about two o’clock. Mia was having a cow about us being late. ”

“So you all decided to get in the car and drive,” the officer said. The words were like a battering ram. Jude felt each one hit her spine and reverberate up.

“Lexi wanted to call home,” Zach said quietly. “I told her not to be stupid. We did that once and Mom flipped out. I didn’t want to miss another party. ”

“Oh, Zach,” Miles said, shaking his head.

Jude thought she might be sick again.

She’d forgotten all about that other time, when they’d believed her words and called her for help. And what had she done—made them pay for it by forcing them to skip several events that weekend.

Oh, God.