Summer Island
Page 46
Shadows crept along the ground like slowly seeping India ink, moved up the sides of the house, and slipped through the slats on the picket fence. Sunset tinted the sky purple and pink.
The porch light cast Rubys back in an orangey glow. She looked young and vulnerable, with her black hair so poorly cut, and her clothes all tattered and torn. The urge to reach out, to brush the hair off Rubys face, and say softly –
“Dont say it, Nora. ”
Nora frowned. “Say what?”
“Ah, Ruby, you could be so beautiful if youd just try a little. ”
It startled Nora, that bit of mind reading. Sure, sh
ed said that often to Ruby, had thought in fact to say it a second ago, but it meant nothing. To Nora, the comment had simply been grains of sand in the desert of a mothers advice. Obviously, Ruby had felt otherwise, and shed carried the words with her into womanhood.
Nora saw how heavy they had become, and she was ashamed. “Im sorry, Ruby. What I should have said is: youre beautiful, just the way you are. ”
Ruby turned, stared down at her.
Silence settled between them, broken only by the sounds of the sea and the occasional caw of a lone crow hidden in the trees.
“Okay, Nora,” Ruby said, crossing her arms, leaning with feigned nonchalance against the porch rail. “Tell me something I dont know. ”
Nora gazed up at her daughter; saw the wary expectation in those dark eyes, and took a deep breath. “You think I dont understand you,” she began softly, “but I know how it feels to turn your back on a parent. ”
Ruby pulled away from the railing. Frowning, she sat down on the white wicker chair beside Nora. “You loved your parents. You told us all about them. ”
“The stories I told you girls were true,” she answered slowly, “and they were lies. I was never good at making stuff up, so my bedtime stories were always bits and pieces of my life . . . cleaned up. I wanted you and Caro to have a sense of where youd come from. ”
“What do you mean, cleaned up?”
Noras gaze was steady. “No matter how dark a place is, there are always moments of light. Thats what I passed on to you and Caroline, my moments of light. ” She took a deep breath. “On the day I graduated from high school, I left home, and I never went back again. ”
“Did you run away?”
“From my father; yes. I loved my mother. ”
“How long was it before you saw them again?” Nora couldnt help it; she closed her eyes.
“I saw my father once-at my mothers funeral. Before you and Caroline were born. ”
“And never again?”
“Never again. ” Nora wished those two little words didnt hurt. The emotion was so old it ought to have decomposed by now. She leaned toward Ruby. “I never saw him again, didnt even attend his funeral, and all my life Ive had to live with that decision. Its not regret I feel so much, but more of . . . a sad longing. I wish he had been a different man. Most of all, I wish I could have loved him. ”
“Did you ever love him?”
“Perhaps . . . when I was young. If so, I dont remember it. ”
Ruby got up, walked to the railing, and stared out at the sea. Without turning around, she said, “I read the People magazine article about you. It said--and I quote: The cornerstones of Nora Bridges message are forgiveness and commitment. ” “Ruby turned around at last. ”Did you try to forgive him?"
Nora wanted to lie. It was easy to see that Ruby was asking as much about their relationship as she was about Nora and her fathers. But there was little enough chance for Nora and Ruby; with deception, there would be none at all. “Years later; after Id had my own children-and lost their love-I began to regret how Id treated him. As a young woman, I didnt-couldnt--understand how hard life can be. I think thats how he felt. Its no excuse, but it gives me a way to see him that turns the hatred into pity. Of course, that understanding came too late. He was already gone. ”
“So, I should forgive you now, while I still have the time. Is that your none-too-subtle message?”
Nora looked up sharply. “Not everything is about you, Ruby. I told you something painful about me tonight, painful and private. I expect you to handle my life with respect, if you cant manage care. ”
Ruby looked abashed. “Im sorry. ”
"Apology accepted. Now, tell me something about you.