Bret wiped his eyes. “So how come no one tole her about me? I’m as important as Jace. ”
Liam sighed. “You’re everything to her, Bret. You and Jacey are her whole world, and it hurt her so much to hear about Jacey. She cried and cried. I just … couldn’t tell her about you, too. I was hoping she’d remember on her own and then … everything would be fine. ”
Bret drew in a great, shuddering breath. Liam could tell he was trying to be a big boy. “Will her memory get unbroken?”
Liam wanted to say Of course, but in the last weeks, he’d learned a thing or two about his children and himself. They were all strong enough to handle the truth. The only wound that festered was a lie. “The doctors think she’ll remember most things. Not every little thing, but the big things—like us—we think she’ll get those back. ”
“But you don’t know for sure?”
“No. We don’t know. But you know what?”
“What?”
“The love … I believe she’ll remember all of that. ”
Bret seemed to think about that for a long time. “Okay, Daddy. ”
Liam smiled. Thank God for the resilience of a little boy’s heart.
“Daddy? I love you. ”
The simple words sifted through Liam, soft as a summer rain. “I love you, too, Bret. ” He held him tightly. “And I’m proud of you. This is a hard thing for a little boy to understand. ”
Slowly they got to their feet. Liam picked Bret up and carried him out of the barn. When he flicked off the lights, a crashing darkness descended, and he followed the Explorer’s headlights through the falling snow. As soon as they were in the car, Liam called Rosa and Jacey and gave them the good news. Rosa offered to pick Jacey up from the hospital and meet Liam and Bret at home.
Bret leaned back in his seat. Even with the heat roaring through the vents, he was shivering. “I’m sorry, Daddy. ”
“It’s okay. Sometimes a man has to get away to think. ” He glanced at Bret. “But next time, how about if you go into a room and slam the door shut?”
Bret almost smiled. “Okay. But I’m gonna slam it really hard. ”
Chapter Twenty-four
Liam couldn’t let go of Bret’s hand. All the way home in the car, he held on to those cold little fingers.
When they pulled into the garage, Liam clicked the engine off and turned to his son. He would have given anything in that moment to say the perfect thing.
If wishes were horses, all beggars would ride.
It was one of Mike’s favorite expressions, and it brought her back to him. He knew what she would say if she were here right now: Come on, piano man, face the music.
It gave him the shot of strength he needed.
“Bret, there’s something else we need to talk about. ”
Bret turned to him, his face still red from the biting cold. “Do we hafta?”
Already his son had learned to expect the worst. He’d learned to be afraid. “Come on, I’ll make us some hot chocolate and we’ll sit by the fire and talk. ”
“Chocolate and sugar. This is gonna be good. ”
Liam smiled. “Move it, Jim Carrey. ”
Bret blinked up at him, owl-like. “That’s what Mommy said to me … on the day … you know … just before she fell. ”
Liam tousled his son’s still-damp hair. “The memories will be like that, pal-o-mine. They’ll come out of nowhere—for you, and for Mommy. And Bretster, it’s easier if you let them come, along with any emotion they happen to bring with ’em. You can’t be afraid of what you feel. Not ever. ”
“Okay, Daddy. ” Bret got out of the car and went into the house, flipping on every light switch along the way. Liam followed along behind him, turning off the ones they didn’t need. In the great room, he knelt in front of the fireplace and arranged the wood and paper. When the fire was cracking and popping, he went into the kitchen and made two cups of instant cocoa. He added a generous amount of milk to Bret’s, then carefully carried the two mugs into the living room, where his son was already playing with an action figure, sound effects and all.