Angel Falls

Slowly she smiled. The Virgin had spoken to her at last, after all these years of prayer.

Surprisingly, the Blessed Mother sounded exactly like Rosa.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Mikaela was back in her room, pacing, when the knock came.

Suddenly she was nervous. She had hurt them all so badly … what if her family didn’t forgive her?

She shuffled away from the window and went to stand by the bed. She gripped the bed rail with her right hand; in her anxiety, she barely noticed that her fingers were working better.

The door opened and Jacey stood in the doorway, looking as nervous as Mikaela felt.

Mikaela limped toward her daughter. With her weakened right hand, she reached out and touched Jacey’s cheek. “Hello, Jace. ”

“I’m … sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. ”

“Oh, baby …” Mikaela swallowed hard. “Don’t ever apologize for your feelings. ” She moved closer. “There are still a lot of gaps in my memory. I don’t remember your first day of school, or how old you were when you lost your first tooth. I’ve driven myself crazy trying to find these moments in my messed-up brain, but I can’t. But I remember that I love you. I love you more than my own life, and I can’t believe how I’ve hurt you. ”

Jacey’s eyes filled with tears.

“You know what I do remember? Our last girls’ day out, when we drove down to the Guild 45th theater in Seattle and watched Gone With the Wind. I remember sitting in all that darkness, holding your hand. ” She took a deep breath. She knew she was stalling; this was not what Jacey had come to hear, and it wasn’t what Mikaela needed to say. “That night we had dinner at Canlis, remember? The Christmas ships were on Lake Washington. That was one of a dozen times in the last few years when I tried to tell you about Julian. ”

Jacey looked unconvinced, a little afraid, a little angry, a little sad. Mikaela had watched her daughter’s face for so many years that no nuance of emotion was missed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Jacey asked.

Mikaela had answered this question in her head so many times. Still, she was uncertain. Even now, after all that had happened, she didn’t want to tell Jacey the whole truth.

“No more lies, Mom,” Jacey said.

“I know, querida. But I don’t want to hurt you. All the lies were for that reason. ”

“Tell me all of it. ”

“I loved Julian too much. When I married him and moved to California, I became someone else, a gringa named Kayla True who had no past at all. It was what I’d always wanted. Your abuela tried to tell me that he was no good for me, but I wouldn’t listen. I loved him so …

“In Hollywood I … lost myself. Not just the poor Hispanic girl I’d been, but more. Me. I did many things of which I am ashamed. ” She tried to smile and failed. “But then I got pregnant. You brought me back to me. I knew what I wanted for you, even if I’d lost track of what I wanted for me. I knew the life I wanted to give you. And Julian … well, he wasn’t ready to be a father. ”

Tears beaded Jacey’s eyes. “He didn’t want me. ”

Mikaela took a deep breath. There was nowhere to go now except forward. “No. ” She took Jacey’s hands, held them tightly. “But I wanted you and I wanted to give you the kind of childhood I hadn’t known. So I left Julian. ”

“But you loved him. ”

“Yes. ”

A tear streaked down Jacey’s cheek and Mikaela forced herself not to wipe it away. Some tears were meant to fall, had to fall. This was one of the many truths she’d failed to see in her life.

“You know what I remember?” Jacey said in a soft, fluttery voice. “When I was little, I used to ask you about my daddy. Every time I did, you cried, until I stopped asking. I ruined it for you, didn’t I?”

“No. Don’t ever say that. ” Mikaela squeezed her daughter’s hand so tightly, she felt the thin bones shift. “I ruined it for me … for a while. Then I met Liam … and I found myself again. I know I’ve been dishonest with you and Liam, and I’ll have to find a way to make that right. Together we are a family, and that’s what we need to remember. We’ll get through this hard time. ”

“Are you coming home?”

Home. The word elicited a memory so clear, Mikaela could have pressed it under glass and framed it.

Liam is sitting at the piano, wearing cut-off shorts and that ridiculous T-shirt he got at last year’s doctors’ convention. It reads: VIAGRA—KEEP YOUR SUPPLY UP. There are two wineglasses on the shining ebony surface of the piano. He is playing her favorite song: “A Time for Us. ”

She comes up behind him, touches his shoulder. “Hey, piano man, get your wife to bed or lose your chance. ”