A Handful of Heaven

She paled. One hand flew up to cover her mouth.

His whole body tensed. After a few minutes of excruciating silence, his patience snapped. "Say something!"

"W-When is the next one?"

Icy fear spilled down Stone Man's back. She couldn't. She wouldn't. He'd had sixteen days of pure hell, waiting-just goddamn waiting-for the boat to come. He refused to spend the whole summer wondering which boat she was going to wander aboard.

No way. He'd geared himself up for her to leave. He was ready for the pain. Hell, a part of him welcomed it. "Don't even think about it," he said harshly.

"About what?"

"About waiting for the next boat."

She crumpled forward, her elbows slamming onto the table in front of her.

Instinctively he surged toward her and pulled her to her feet. "Dev? Are you all right?"

Her answer was a high, brittle laugh.

His forefinger forced her chin up. "Dev?"

She looked into his eyes for the first time in days. Her skin looked paler than he remembered, more fragile, and her lower lip was red and raw. Without thinking he ran a finger along its puffy surface. "You shouldn't bite your lip."

250

She tried to smile. It was a trembling, dismal failure."My thumbnail's almost gone. I was desperate."

"Ah, Dev . . . Why are we hurting each other so much?"

Tears sprang into her eyes. "Because we love each other but not enough."

Stone Man squeezed his eyes shut. He'd told himself the same thing a thousand times. So why did it hurt to hear her say it? He knew she didn't love him enough to stay. Still, hearing it from her own lips . . . Sweet Christ, it hurt.

It took him a moment to summon the courage to speak, and when he finally found his voice it was ragged and hoarse. "The boat will only stay long enough for the crewmen to cut a couple of cords of wood. You'd better get packing."

"But-"

He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Don't make it worse. If you're going to leave, then just goddamn go."

"Take your hands off me, please," she said quietly.

He did.

She plucked up her precious pink tablecloth and pressed it to her stomach. She stroked the soft yarn, seeming to draw some solace from it, and after a few seconds her chin edged upward.

He might even have believed she was in control of her emotions if he hadn't been close enough to see the trembling of her mouth.

"Don't worry, Stone Man, I'm leaving. I can't live like this anymore either."

His next two words were the hardest he'd ever spoken. " 'Bye, Dev."

She smiled grimly. "Eager?" Swiping the tears from her wet cheeks, she hiked her skirts off the ground and marched toward the flaps. At the canvas opening she stopped. Without looking at him she said, "I'll be

back for my share of the gold."

Then she left him.

Chapter Twenty-two