Savannah stiffened and jerked out of reach. Before Tess could respond, the bundle in her arms started wriggling furiously.
Gingerly she peeled back the homespun blanket. Murky, swollen-lidded eyes peered up at her from a beet red, wrinkled face the size of a tea saucer.
Hesitantly she stroked his velvet-soft newborn skin. At her touch he sucked in a shuddering, hiccuping breath and stopped crying. His unfocused gaze landed on her face, and she had the unmistakable sense that he was studying her. After a moment he gave a quiet, contented sigh. Snuggling deeper in
the blanket, he went back to sleep.
Tess felt his acceptance and trust like a tangible presence. For the first time, she understood the meaning of the word awe. Her eyes widened with it, her heartbeat slowed to a crawl. Tears scalded her eyes.
She looked up suddenly, expecting to see her awe mirrored on the faces around her. Instead, she saw anxiety and suspicion.
Savannah immediately reached out for the baby. "Here, Mama, I'll take him...."
Katie, who'd peeked her head around her sister's elbow, jerked back into invisibility behind Savannah.
Tess frowned. What was wrong with this family? They acted as if they expected her to fling the baby across the room. Savannah and Jack were standing on guard, waiting for the explosion, regarding her with the wary, nervous
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glances normally accorded a hand grenade with a pulled pin. And poor Katie was following the first rule of warfare: Keep your head down and stay in the trenches.
There was so much pain here, so much she didn't understand. She felt again the involuntary urge to help, to touch, to heal. Just like when she'd seen Jack huddled piteously near the crib ...
She wanted to say something light and easy, something that would ease the heartache from the faces around her. But she couldn't think of a thing.
She tried to reach for Savannah, but the infant restricted her movement. All she could do was raise a single pointed finger toward the girl.
Only her finger didn't point at Savannah. It pointed at the door. At the gesture, Savannah's skin went ashen. Before Tess could utter a word, Savannah swirled and ran from the room. Katie followed at a scamper. The door slammed shut.
Jack leapt to his feet. "Damn you, Amarylis! Would it have hurt you to talk to them? They've been worried about you, for God's sake."
"I thought?"
"Ha!" He surged toward her. The hollow sound of his bootheels slamming against the floor rang in Tess's head.
"You know what you're doing to her, goddamn you."
"I just wanted?"
He laughed. It was a harsh, bitter sound without a trace of mirth. "I know what the hell you want. Everyone does." He stared at her again through cold, narrowed eyes, then turned away from the bed as if sickened by the sight of her. He crossed the small room in three steps and yanked the door open, slamming it shut behind him.
Tess stared at the door, feeling?stupidly?another woman's guilt and regret.
Amarylis, it seemed, had not been a very good mother.
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Jack slammed the door so hard, the rafters rattled. The girls jumped like scared rabbits and spun around to face him. Katie slunk behind her sister's full skirts.
He wanted to push past his children and run from this cursed house, and keep on running until he couldn't run anymore.
"Is Mama all right?" Savannah asked.
Jack looked at his eldest daughter and felt a jolt of emotion so strong, he almost cursed out loud. She was looking at him with a mixture of hope and love and desperation that serrated his heart.
How? he thought angrily. How could she love him after everything he'd done ... and not done?
Need rose in him like a sudden wave. He wanted? ached?to get down on his knees and take them in his arms.