Once in Every Life

Her huge brown eyes were glistening with tears. Her mouth trembled. She tried to smile, and failed miserably.

Jack felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He stared dumbly at her. She looked breathtakingly beautiful and suddenly fragile, as if she could actually be wounded by him. Her breasts rose and fell in rapid, shallow breaths.

His knuckles slid down her damp cheek and brushed her

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tears away. He stared at the moisture on his fingertip and swallowed thickly. "What's going on, Lissa?"

"I'm scared." There was a quaver in her voice that tugged at his heart and made him almost believe.

He stared at her long and hard, trying to reconcile the quiet, fragile person sitting before him with the brittle, angry woman he'd known for half his life. His emotions tangled into an unmanageable mass. Feeling suddenly tired and depressingly alone, he pushed to his feet. "We'd better

get back."

Lissa stood beside him. She looked up at him. Pale silver lines streaked her flushed cheeks and reminded him forcibly that she'd cried. Cried.

She pushed a damp lock of hair from her eyes and nervously tucked it behind her ear. "Will you talk to Katie

with me?"

"Don't do this to me, Lissa." His voice was a low, agonized whisper. "Please ..."

"But?"

"No." The word came out in a strangled mixture of shame and pain. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the hot sting of emotion. He'd never in his life felt as much like a failure as he did right now.

A long, breath-laden silence stretched between them. Jack felt every second, every heartbeat, like a blow to the heart. Don't make me talk to Katie; not now. If he saw his Katydid right now, he'd never be able to keep from scooping her into his arms and kissing her tears away. And he couldn't do that, couldn't let her trust him until he was sure Lissa had really changed. God knew they'd hurt the kids enough without adding more.

"Okay, Jack. I'll do it, I'll talk to her. But on one condition."

His eyes popped open in surprise. "Condition?"

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She dashed the last tracings of tears from her eyes and smiled shakily. "Yes."

"What?"

"I want you to try."

He froze. "Try what?"

She stepped closer, her face tilted up to his. Soft afternoon breezes ruffled through her hair, filled the air with the scent of fresh grass and wildflowers. "Just try to be a dad."

Jack swallowed hard. She was asking the impossible; to try, he had to believe. In her. In himself.

"I ... can't."

"Yes, Jack, you can." Her gaze caught his in a silken grip and wouldn't let him go. "Trust me."

Savannah saw her parents ride into the yard, and yanked her hand away from the curtain. The tired fabric fluttered back in place and once again blocked out the fading rays of the setting sun.

Spinning around, she bustled over to the stove and tried to focus her thoughts on the frying rabbit.

"Did Mama look mad?" Katie asked quietly, hugging her worn, floppy rag doll to her chest.

Savannah knew it was useless to pretend ignorance. Carefully setting down the wooden spoon, she turned and drew Katie into her arms. She stroked her baby sister's tangled hair and sighed wearily. "I couldn't see her face." "Maybe I'll pretend to be too sick to eat." Savannah let her hand fall back to her side. "It wouldn't do no good."