Once in Every Life
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He started to shake his head, then stopped. At his hesitation, her heart soared with hope.
"I won't let you down," she added softly.
He turned to look at her, and there was a bleak hope-
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lessness in his eyes that tore at her heart. "What do you want from me?"
She pressed up on her toes and laid her hand against his cheek. "You don't have to be so alone. God?" "Ha."
She moved her hand from his cheek to his heart, feeling the thudding beat beneath her palm. "You invoke His name all the time, Jack Rafferty. I know you believe. Or you did once."
He glanced down at the small white hand plastered so protectively atop the faded blue chambray of his shirt. Slowly he lifted his gaze and looked into her eyes. He tried to find a light, bantering response that proved how little he cared about her God, but his throat was dry and swollen with emotion. She was right. Once, long ago, he had believed in God. And in himself.
"You don't have to carry everything inside you, Jack," she said softly. "God will help you. / will help you."
God had better help him, he thought dully. Because he wanted to trust her. Christ, how he wanted to; it was like an ache in his soul. And still he couldn't speak. He could only stare down into her warm, loving brown eyes and nod dumbly.
She flashed him a smile that was like a knife in the gut. For a second his knees went weak.
"Come on, let's go," she said.
"Okay," Jack answered in a voice that was a husky shadow of itself.
At her buoyant grin, he felt himself begin to relax. A slow, hesitant smile pulled at his mouth.
"Why, Jack Rafferty, I do believe you're smiling."
He bit down hard and obliterated the smile. "Come on, Lissa, let's get this over with."
He walked over to the basket and picked it up. Forcibly
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he kept his gaze off the babe sleeping so quietly inside.
Then, together, they walked toward the schoolhouse.
Savannah heard the door open and she cringed. The townspeople had mistrusted her daddy ever since the July Fourth picnic last year when he'd gone crazy. Every head turned as Mama and Daddy walked through the open doorway.
Her parents stood close together?closer than she'd ever seen them. The congregation scrutinized them, eyeing Daddy suspiciously. Sunlight streamed all around them, making them look golden and beautiful.
Neither of them batted an eye, as if they didn't even notice the people studying them. Then Mama did the most amazing thing. She slipped her hand in his.
Daddy jumped at the contact, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he looked down at her. His eyes were wide with wonder. She smiled up at him.
At the front of the schoolroom, the reverend pounded hard on his makeshift pulpit. "Welcome, worshipers," he intoned in his nasal voice. "Today's sermon will be on forgiveness." One by one the townspeople turned away from the couple at the back of the schoolroom and gave their full attention to the sermon.
The preacher launched into a fevered lecture on the merits of forgiveness, but Savannah couldn't concentrate on his words. She kept thinking about her mama holding her daddy's hand. It gave her a warm, cozy feeling. Every last scrap of doubt about Mama disappeared. If Mama could change, then anything was possible.
Maybe they could even become a real, loving family. Smiling, she closed her eyes and prayed.
Jack stared at the open Bible lying in his lap. The small, yellowed pages should have looked old and dingy against
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