Once in Every Life

Jack turned to his eldest daughter. She was staring at him through eyes that concealed nothing. She loved him. Still, after everything. Please God, he prayed, don't let me disappoint her. Not

again ...

He swallowed thickly and nodded. "It looks great."

Surprise widened her eyes and crawled in a wash of pink across her cheeks. "Thanks, Daddy."

Lissa set down a huge platter. A small roast was ringed by fried potatoes, carrots, and onions.

When they were all seated, Lissa poured four glasses of milk, then set the pitcher down. "Shall we pray?" she said, placing a hand on either side of her plate. The girls eagerly placed their hands in their mother's.

They were not so quick to hold Jack's hand. Two small heads turned hesitantly toward him.

"Daddy?" Savannah ventured softly. Jack's heart did a painful twist. Without meeting his daughter's gaze?he couldn't bear to see the uncertainty in her eyes?he brought his hands to the table.

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Savannah was the first to take his hand. Warm, slim fingers slid along his upturned palm and slipped between his. Rough, bitten-down nails prickled his flesh. She gave his hand a squeeze, and it was a moment before he realized that she was reassuring him.

He stared at the flowers, feeling a sharp sting behind his eyes. He swallowed the thick, bone-dry lump of emotion that lodged suddenly in his throat. God, how he loved them. Sweet Christ...

"Daddy? Is it okay if I hole your hand?" Katie's quiet voice crept into Jack's thoughts and brought his head up.

Jack looked at his baby girl. She gave him a shy, hesitant smile. Love curled around his heart and squeezed so hard, his chest ached. "I ... I'd like that."

Katie's mouth dropped open. "You would?"

He nodded, unable to speak.

Katie's pink hand moved across the white tablecloth and slipped into Jack's. His long, brown fingers slipped between her pudgy ones and curled tightly.

"Dear God," Lissa began softly, "we thank you for the many gifts you've bestowed upon this family. And for what we are about to receive, may we be truly grateful."

Jack started to lift his head, but she wasn't done. He quickly dropped his chin again.

"Savannah," she said, "why don't you tell God what you're thankful for."

"I'm thankful for Katie learning to read."

"Katie, honey?"

Katie shifted uncomfortably on her chair. Moisture seeped from her tiny hands and dampened Jack's palms. He detected a tremor in her fingers.

"I-I'm thankful we're eating supper together."

"It's my turn," Lissa said. "I'm thankful for having such bright, beautiful, loving girls to call my children, and such a darling baby boy. Jack?"

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Jack flinched. His hold on the girls' hands tightened.

The silence expanded, turned vaguely awkward as everyone waited to hear his answer.

He cleared his throat. "I'm?I'm thankful for my children." Jack blurted out the damning confession, and waited for Lissa to laugh. When she didn't, he cautiously looked up, and found her staring at him. For a second, there was no one sitting at the table except the two of them.