Once in Every Life

"Jack, I?"

He pushed past her and headed for the schoolhouse, head held high, shoulders stiff.

Katie gave her a tiny shrug, then scurried to keep up with Savannah and Jack. Tess had no choice but to hurry along behind.

The family came together in a military straight line at the schoolhouse steps. They closed ranks, taking strength from one another's presence as they sidled wordlessly together. A silent "chin up" glance passed between the girls.

Jack looked at no one. His gaze was pinned on the closed door, and there was no trace of emotion on his face.

They climbed the stairs and entered the school. The room was filled to overflowing with gesturing, chattering people. Phrases and snippets of conversation rose above the din, leaving no doubt what everyone was talking about. "What do you think?" "It's horrible, I heard?" "Indians?"

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Suddenly voices sputtered and stopped. The din melted into a buzz, and then became nothing at all.

One by one the townspeople turned toward them. Faces paled. Mouths compressed. Eyes narrowed into suspicious slits as they watched Jack.

Realization spilled like ice water through Tess. They think he killed those people. She glanced up at Jack's stern, emotionless profile and knew that he knew it as well. But there was something else in his eyes, something that scared her so badly, she couldn't speak. Guilt.

Yesterday. The memory of Minerva's word flashed like lightning through her mind, rooting her to the spot. Minerva said the murder had taken place yesterday or the day before. Yesterday Jack had been wandering the island alone, with no memory of what he'd done.

Tess felt a numbing rush of fear. The townspeople be damned. Jack thought he'd killed those innocent people.

She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a quiet sob. She wanted to say something, anything, to relieve the stark, unrelenting hardness in his face, but no words came to her. There was nothing she could say. He wouldn't listen.

It would never be enough, she realized with an unfamiliar surge of anger. She could believe in him forever, love him for all time, and it would never be enough. Not if he didn't believe in himself.

"Okay, folks, let's get started," called out a voice from the front of the room.

"What'dya know, Ed?" yelled someone.

The man at the front of the room held out his hands for silence. "Not much yet, Charlie. As you all heard, Henry and Selina Dwyer were found murdered today. Judging by the evidence, we think they were killed early yesterday. Maybe the day before."

"Who done it?" another angry voice demanded.

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Ed shrugged. "We don't know that yet, Will. All we know for sure is that the murderer wore size-seven shoes with seven rows of nails in the sole. I also found an interesting bit of evidence in the Dwyers' root cellar. I've dispatched a letter to Victoria asking for a special officer to help us investigate."

"Well, what can we do?"

"If any of you saw or heard anything out of the ordinary, I'd be much obliged to hear it. Try to think back on anything unusual that happened after that storm. For the rest of you, just go home and stay home. And keep your houses locked tight. There's a murderer on the loose?and he might be one of us."

The drive home seemed endlessly long. The family sat in utter silence. Dark undercurrents swirled around them, shrouding them with a sense of impending doom.

Tess sat stiff as a new nail, her hands coiled in a bloodless ball

in her lap. Every now and then she cast a sideways glance at Jack, but every one was like a stab to the heart. He sat perfectly straight, his eyes focused dead ahead. Sorrow formed a network of lines around his mouth and eyes, adding a dozen years to his face.

When they got home, Tess put Caleb to bed, then herded the girls together and led them to their room. When she looked into their frightened eyes, she felt a surge of anger so strong, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. But she said nothing. There was nothing yet to say until she talked to Jack.

"Night, Mama," Savannah said tonelessly.

"Yeah," Katie murmured.

Tess drew them both into her arms for a long hug, then kissed them good night and watched them crawl into bed together.

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