“How is she?” Betsy asked warily.
Lulu bounced on his lap. “You wanna play Candyland, Daddy?”
“Dad?” Betsy said. “How is Mom?”
He drew in a deep breath. “She lost her leg. ”
Lulu stilled. “Where is it?”
“They cut it off, stupid,” Betsy said, scrambling backward, getting to her feet.
“What?” Lulu shrieked.
“Betsy,” Michael snapped, “don’t scare your sister. Lulu, Mommy’s going to be fine, she just lost part of her leg. But she’ll still be able to walk and everything. She’ll need our help for a while, though. She’s coming home in three days. ”
“Mom lost her leg and Tami is in a coma, but everyone is going to be fine. We’re all going to be fine, just like we were. ” Betsy’s voice broke, and she ran to the door, yanking it open. “You and Mom are both liars,” she said, wiping her eyes. Then she walked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her.
“But where’s her leg, Daddy?” Lulu said, starting to cry.
* * *
“Jo?”
She heard Jamie’s voice and opened her eyes.
Jamie stood in the doorway, dressed in his ACUs.
“Hey. ” She smiled at him, tried to look strong. She had no courage these days, it seemed, no inner strength. It was just so damned good to see him up and walking, even if it was with a limp. He’d visited her yesterday, too.
Closing the door behind him, he walked into the room. The look in his eyes was so compassionate she almost started to cry again. He knew what she was feeling.
“It’s not your fault, Jo,” he said.
“Smitty’s gone. Tami’s in a coma. I was flying the aircraft,” Jolene said.
“You carried her out of the helicopter, Jo. You. ” He looked down at her amputated leg. “On that. You carried your best friend. I saw you, as I was scrambling, trying like hell to get Smitty out. I got him out, but it was too late. ”
She saw the guilt Jamie carried.
“I saw him, Jamie. He was already gone. ”
He stared down at her. “Don’t you give up,” he said in a hoarse voice.
“I don’t know how to be this woman. ” She indicated her ruined body.
“You’re a soldier, Jo. That’s inside. ”
“Is it?”
“I’ve been ordered back to Iraq,” he said at last.
She nodded, a lump in her throat. It occurred to her that she had just been more honest with this man than she’d ever been with her husband. “Be safe, Jamie. ”
He stared down at her a long time. “You’re my hero, Chief. I want you to know that. And I’ll miss you up there in the sky. ”
Then he was gone and she was alone.
SEPT.