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She flopped back onto the bed, staring up at the speckled white acoustical tile ceiling, gritting her teeth. Tears burned her eyes. She wanted to give into them, maybe cry so hard she washed away on a river of tears and disappeared. But what was the point of crying? Sooner or later she’d wipe her eyes and look down and her leg would still be gone.
“It’s common, you know. ”
With a sigh, she turned her head. Through the billowy wave of her pillow, she saw the black man standing in her doorway and knew why he was here. To help.
“Go away, Conny,” she said.
He came into the room anyway.
As he moved, he took something out of his pocket—a rubber band, maybe—and pulled his gray dreads into a ponytail. Diamond earrings glinted in his dark ears.
“It’s not every man who can wear pink scrubs,” she observed wryly.
“Not every woman can fly a helicopter. ” He stopped at her bedside. “May I?”
“May you what?”
“Help you to sit up,” he said gently.
She swallowed hard and met his gaze. The compassion in his black eyes hurt as much as the phantom pain in her leg. “Go away. ” The words were a croak of sound.
“You just gonna lay here and feel sorry for yourself?”
“Yeah,” she said. That was exactly what she wanted now—to be left alone. She’d spent a lifetime being Pollyanna, believing in the power of positive thinking, and where had it gotten her? Tami was hurt, her marriage was broken, and she couldn’t even get out of bed on her own.
He put an arm around her and eased her upright, positioning the pillows as a comfortable backrest.
She fought him weakly, too depressed to even care, really, then she gave up.
When she was upright, he stepped back just enough to be polite, but not enough so that she owned her space. “Like I said, it’s common. ”
She didn’t want to talk, but she was pretty certain that a mulish silence wouldn’t work with this man. She’d lay odds that he had the patience of a sniper.
“Fine. What’s common?”
“The pain in your lost leg. It’s weird, I hear. Feels like it’s actually in the foot. ”
That got her attention. “Yeah. How am I supposed to forget about it if it keeps hurting?”
“I don’t suppose you’re going to forget about it anytime soon, do you?”
“No. ”
“It’s the cut nerves. They’re just as confused down there as you are. Nothing feels right to them; they’re looking for that foot. ”
“Me, too. ”
“I can help you deal with the pain until the nerves heal completely. Teach you some basic relaxation techniques. Exercise and a nice hot bath can help, too. ”
“The morphine worked. ”
He laughed again. “Soldier girl, we aren’t giving you any more morphine. You can’t just sleep through this. ”
???I suppose you have a better idea. ”
“I do indeed. What physical therapy did they start with you in Germany?”
She lifted her casted right arm. “What do you think? It’s not like I can use crutches. ”